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‘Woman-less wedding’ used as church fundraiser

Proceeds from ‘wedding’ go for vacation Bible school

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POSTED: May 28, 2012 10:00 a.m.
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Mother of groom (Bill Nutting, right) was escorted to his seat by Bucky Keel, but not without drama along the way during a recent “woman-less” wedding fundraiser for the First United Methodist Church of Hinesville.

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A hush settled over the waiting crowd as hosts Linda Hall and “Rev.” Rich Doolittle King (aka Daniel King) opened the flood gates for the woman-less wedding, a fundraiser for the First United Methodist Church of Hinesville.

Proceeds benefitted its vacation Bible school.

It seemed a cast of hundreds marched down the aisle in full “go-to-wedding” attire.

Singer Josephine Thomp-son (Joe Thompson) and piano player Roosevelt Jackson Powers (Rodney Powers) set the tone.

With candles glowing, groom Allen Brown enjoyed the antics of a zany cast of groomsmen as they seated the bride’s parents (John Rowan and Ken Chipple), the groom’s parents (Bill Nutting and Joe Anderson), the bride’s grandmother (Sanford Carter), baby unexpected (Noel Dickey) and nurse (Zimmie Lou Christenson).

The comical family paraded in everything from 5-inch heels and pantyhose to wigs and enhanced female attributes — all to the delight of the audience. A couple of relatives lacked proper wedding manners and all seemed to have missed charm school.

Even so, the wedding held its own appeal. If the guests preferred entertainment to decorum they got a treat.

The chaos continued as the bridesmaids started the processional.

Dressed to the nines, the bridesmaids sashayed down the aisle amidst flounces, rustling gowns and lingering perfume.

Laughter followed each as the attendants Willamina (W.L. Hall), Geraldine (Gerald Deloach), Dickerina (Dick Webb), Rayetta Mae  (Ray Barlett) and Donnella Sue (Danny Norman) posed for pictures, kissed members of the audience, chatted and wielded interesting accessories.

A bottle of Coke, bubbles, a battery-operated fan, a sophisticated spit-ball shooter, and a make-up kit with lipstick and mirror for primping stalled the process.

The pause gave the maid of honor Craigalina (Craig Stafford) time for a former girlfriend hissy fit. The pity party didn’t stop the ring bearer (Ronnie Clifton) or the flower girl (Pastor Rich Wright) from adding comic appeal.

A protester, Bianca (Bill Kilmer), created a ruckus with an outburst and subsequent anger when handcuffed.

An “ahh” marched through the audience as bride Bertha Jane (Bill Goodwin), in questionable all white, made her entrance and participated in the exchange of rings.  

Both the bride and the groom wore attire from Colonial Bridal, Goodwill, Hello Kitty and the bottom of the closet.

After the reception, the bride and groom went their separate ways.

Groomsmen were John Hickory (John Rogers), Bucky Bubbakeel (Bucky Keel), Kazma (Kevin Corwin) and Jerry Noel (Joey Brown).
The wedding was directed by Marilyn Sauls.

 

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