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Is your clique as close as a murder of crows?

POSTED: May 27, 2013 9:55 a.m.

Which group to fall in? Now that is the question.

I was talking to my neighbor and he said that a "crew" from Jacksonville was coming. This was sure to draw a large "group."

Kanye and Jay-Z were going to be there along wit their "posse." Yo, yo!

Justin Timberlake and that Bieber kid were dragging an "entourage." It was sure to be a "fraternity" soirée to end all fraternal soireeseseses.

Now what I have a teeny bit of trouble with is, how does one figure out where to sign up and for what cause?

Oh the pressure. Should I be in a "crew" or a "group" or a "fraternity" or sell out to be in a "posse" or an "entourage?"

In my home village of Flounder Creek, we choose to just wad up. We are proud. We are the Flounder Creek "Wad," and don’t you forget it.

I made a special trip down to the restaurant where the "crew" was dining. To tell you the truth, they looked an awful lot like the "group" of people they drew. I never did see Kanye. But I thought I saw Beyonce, but that turned out to be some fraternity boy’s girlfriend with a new wig. Just then, a "gaggle" of geese flew by. Not to be confused with flock. Lots of flocks; flock-o-seagulls, flock-o-sheep and a plain old flock-o-Baptists.

Every species of thing seems to have a wad factor. Murder-o-crows. Gaggle-o-geese. Pride-o-lions. Pack-o-wolves. Litter-o-puppies. A mob or troup-o-kangaroos. Covey-o-quail. Crew-o-Jacksonville. Posse-o-Kanye, and Wad-o-Flounder Creekians. The list goes.

A "band" of musicians has the misfortune of sharing the title alongside outlaws. A "gang," on the other hand, is just a fraternity gone bad. The one I find most interesting is a "congress" of baboons.

A sorority is a group of girls who are hoping to meet some nice fraternity boys but usually wind up with a guy in a "band."

"I know he’s got black teeth, Daddy, but I love him. He’s an outlaw but not the bad kind. He’s in a band. He blows the bugle. The Irish Fudpucker’s Drum and Bugle Corps. Their motto is "if you can’t blow it, beat it."

It’s a "corps" not a band.

An old folk saying that I wish I could take credit for is: "A pretty girl’s just like a butterfly. She’s just as soon to land on a cow patty as a rose petal."

The Red Hat Ladies is a sorority of sorts, but they have completely lost touch with the rest of the world.

When you think about it, there are an awful lot of groups out there to join. Think real hard before you commit to any group. Who’d ever want to be in a "gaggle?"

By far the biggest active participant rate is the "bunch." There are more people who are in the "bunch" than the fraternity, group, crew, band and gang all combined. Not to mention The Wad.

That’s a BUNCH of people.

 

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