How could you show favoritism toward your one daughter, and not love your first-born child? I would never understand that — what kind of parent is that? How are you going to explain this on the Day of Judgment? You sit at church every Sunday, and nothing sinks in.

In the comics section of this past Sunday’s Courier, there were three identical Frank and Ernest cartoons, and I never did get the joke.

I finally figured out why we get such bad gas mileage: Sitting at the red lights in Hinesville having to wait 10 minutes before the light turns so we can turn left.

I just wanted to let the public know that I live in Walthourville, and I live in a house by myself. My water bill is $300, and they cut my water off. Nobody tells me why my bill is that high, and I live here by myself.

The person that stole my ID at Newman Gym this morning: You’ll be surprised to know: Yeah, you got $10, but I’ve got Lifelock and my cards are cut off. So if you try to use one of those cards, you’ll go to jail.