Transformers: The Last Knight marks the fifth installment in director Michael Bay’s franchise and what a surprise, this movie is just as dumb, loud, idiotic and incomprehensible as the rest of the sequels. It is nothing short of an extreme assault on the sense in every way.
Trying to describe the plot may actually be headache-inducing and mind-numbing, but I’ll do my best anyway. Mark Wahlberg returns as Cade Yeager, the inventor who now lives in a junkyard isolated from the Transformers until they come calling on his help as the government has now declared all Transformers illegal. Wahlberg doesn’t want to get involved and I certainly don’t blame him, but why couldn’t the studios behind these films feel the same way?
Optimus Prime leaves Earth to journey back to his home of Cybertron only to find that bits and pieces of it are now fragmented and stumbles upon a robotic sorceress named Quintessa to try and reform the planet while under her control. Of course, this is all just an excuse for a convoluted plot so Prime can turn on his Earthling friends.
Anthony Hopkins costars as a historian who’s able to supply some info on why the Transformers keep coming to Earth, but his character is given no scenes of credibility and Hopkins himself is severely miscast.
This movie is cut in such an aggressive manner that nothing makes sense or is enjoyable in any way, shape or form. The plot bounces around like a pinball machine at every turn and the special effects sequences…Let me take a breath for a second.
Imagine taking every piece of silverware you own and then taking your neighbor’s and dumping it all into both your washer and dryer or microwave. Now you have an idea of the level of comprehension and plausibility this movie is shoving down your throat.
The first Transformers was fun and entertaining. The sequels have been nothing but overblown garbage. Just like the title suggests, let’s hope this is indeed the last of the Transformers movies.
Grade: D-
(Rated PG-13 for violence and intense sequences of sci-fi action, language, and some innuendo.)
Hall is a syndicated columnist in South Georgia.