Maybe we're stuck in some kind of Victorian Dark Age with regards to female sexuality, but there are some untrue ideas about women and sex that refuse to die. Believing these can be damaging to your mental health and sex life.
Here are six myths society keeps hashing out that you can throw into the garbage:
1. Women want sex less than men
For some reason, the myth that men are sex-crazed and women don't like sex very much lives. However, this has been repeatedly proven untrue. Women think about sex as much as men (even more in some studies), and they like sex. You are a normal woman if you love sex and if you don't, know that you are not biologically predetermined to not like sex because of your gender; find what works for you.
2. It's the man's responsibility to make you climax
If you want to have great sex, you need to take control yourself. You can't expect your partner to know how to satisfy you. Understand your own body and communicate to your husband what you like.
3. Women don't get addicted to pornography
Pornography is as addicting as hard drugs and has just as many harmful effects on your brain. For some reason, our culture has decided that men love pornography and women are immune. However, this belief is untrue and believing it can cause harm women who are caught in the toxic trap of pornography. They may find it challenging to get the help they need. As one woman stated, "I didnt seek help for my addiction because I felt I was a freak of nature, because I was sure that I was the ONLY woman who struggled with a mans disease."
Pornography is NOT normal for men or for women.
4. We shouldn't talk about it
There's some kind of faux pas about talking about sex. While there are definitely lines you shouldn't cross because sex is something intimate between you and your partner, we should create a culture where we have healthy conversations about it. Talking more openly about sex can prevent kids from going to uneducated or inappropriate sources for information and stop cultivating a fear of the unknown.
Furthermore, there is no reason you and your husband shouldn't regularly be talking about sex. Communicate with each other what you like and what you don't like. It can be awkward but it will definitely develop your relationship both emotionally and physically. Couples who talk about sex enjoy sex more and avoid falling into a sexless marriage.
5. Being good at sex comes naturally
Many people expect sex to be great from the get-go, but it's a learned skill. You need to get to know your body and your partner's, how things work and what both you and your partner like. Because there's a learning curve, its okay if it takes a while for sex to become as amazing as everyone says it is.
6. More sex will make you happier
Many people believe a life full of sex is a happy one. For example, researchers at Carnegie Mellon expected that if couples doubled the amount of sex they were having, they would be happier. This hypothesis turned out to be untrue. Upping the amount of sex you have just to up the amount isn't going to make a change in your relationship satisfaction, or your overall happiness level. The quality of your sex, and your relationship overall, is a better indicator than how many skittles are in your jar.
Here are six myths society keeps hashing out that you can throw into the garbage:
1. Women want sex less than men
For some reason, the myth that men are sex-crazed and women don't like sex very much lives. However, this has been repeatedly proven untrue. Women think about sex as much as men (even more in some studies), and they like sex. You are a normal woman if you love sex and if you don't, know that you are not biologically predetermined to not like sex because of your gender; find what works for you.
2. It's the man's responsibility to make you climax
If you want to have great sex, you need to take control yourself. You can't expect your partner to know how to satisfy you. Understand your own body and communicate to your husband what you like.
3. Women don't get addicted to pornography
Pornography is as addicting as hard drugs and has just as many harmful effects on your brain. For some reason, our culture has decided that men love pornography and women are immune. However, this belief is untrue and believing it can cause harm women who are caught in the toxic trap of pornography. They may find it challenging to get the help they need. As one woman stated, "I didnt seek help for my addiction because I felt I was a freak of nature, because I was sure that I was the ONLY woman who struggled with a mans disease."
Pornography is NOT normal for men or for women.
4. We shouldn't talk about it
There's some kind of faux pas about talking about sex. While there are definitely lines you shouldn't cross because sex is something intimate between you and your partner, we should create a culture where we have healthy conversations about it. Talking more openly about sex can prevent kids from going to uneducated or inappropriate sources for information and stop cultivating a fear of the unknown.
Furthermore, there is no reason you and your husband shouldn't regularly be talking about sex. Communicate with each other what you like and what you don't like. It can be awkward but it will definitely develop your relationship both emotionally and physically. Couples who talk about sex enjoy sex more and avoid falling into a sexless marriage.
5. Being good at sex comes naturally
Many people expect sex to be great from the get-go, but it's a learned skill. You need to get to know your body and your partner's, how things work and what both you and your partner like. Because there's a learning curve, its okay if it takes a while for sex to become as amazing as everyone says it is.
6. More sex will make you happier
Many people believe a life full of sex is a happy one. For example, researchers at Carnegie Mellon expected that if couples doubled the amount of sex they were having, they would be happier. This hypothesis turned out to be untrue. Upping the amount of sex you have just to up the amount isn't going to make a change in your relationship satisfaction, or your overall happiness level. The quality of your sex, and your relationship overall, is a better indicator than how many skittles are in your jar.