BEVERLY HILLS--God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Hurricane Irma hit Florida a week after Hurricane Harvey shredded Texas with tornadoes, hail storms and flooding, while L.A. firefighters battled wildfires. Let’s get honest here. Mother Nature needs to stop with all the hurricanes, tornadoes, hailstorms and wildfires and accept that Hillary lost.
President Trump rose in the polls over the way he handled hurricane relief, deferred action on DACA, and stood up to North Korea this past week. Fans say they like how he speaks to them in plain and simple English. You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason.
President Trump issued military orders Thursday for U.S. forces to shoot down any ICBM that North Korea launches in the direction of Hawaii or the continental U.S. It’s exhausting. I wish somebody would introduce Kim Jung Un to Twitter so North Korea could stop firing ballistic missiles.
President Trump announced he was praying for the people of Florida as Hurricane Irma was approaching Thursday. To most people it’s an act of God. Democrat after Democrat promised that if Hurricane Irma strikes Florida and only destroys Mar-a-Lago, they will turn in their atheist card.
Hurricane Irma, Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Jose formed off the coast of Africa before crossing the ocean on their paths of destruction last week. It’s got residents of Texas, Louisiana, Florida and Georgia all asking themselves the same question. What did we ever do to Africa?
The Caribbean was first to catch Hurricane Irma’s force Thursday when the storm blew down cell phone towers in the Bahamas. People were forced to live without e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat for hours. All they could do was stare at their palm and try to remember the good times.
President Trump was unfairly ripped for his decision to end DACA in six months and subject illegal kids to deportation. It was a humanitarian gesture. Between North Korea’s nukes, extreme weather and O.J. leaving jail soon, Trump is giving these kids a chance to get out of this country alive.
Bill Clinton denounced Trump’s shelving of DACA as immoral Tuesday. He’s one to talk. The three greatest streaks in history are Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak, Oklahoma’s 47-game winning streak, and Bill Clinton’s streak from the study to the Oval Office desk to answer the phone.
Hillary Clinton’s new book “What Happened” arrives in bookstores Tuesday. She lists all the reasons she lost last fall’s election. It’s certainly not her fault. She blames Jim Comey, the Russians, the DNC, Bernie Sanders, and finally blames her parents for having her in the first place.
President Trump turned the tables on GOP conservatives Wednesday by striking a deal with Sens. Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi to extend the debt limit and pay for Harvey damage. President Trump turned Democrat for a week. It’s reduced Stephen Colbert to mother-in-law jokes.
The Department of Transportation decided not to fine United Airlines for its flight attendants beating and dragging an Asian-American passenger off an overbooked flight for which he’d bought a ticket. It was bad. The good news is, United has just been voted America’s favorite Chinese take-out.
The London Daily Mail reports that ISIS is urging their American terrorist group cells to slip into U.S. grocery stores and poison the food. It’s a good idea on paper. Hey, if they would read the labels’ list of ingredients and see the amount of fat, sugar and salt in everything, they’d know they were too late.
President Trump’s approval ratings rose over his hurricane response in Texas and in Florida last week. The TV ratings were huge. The William Morris Agency just realized that all Trump is doing is hosting a reality show called The Last Coastal City Standing, and they want their ten percent.
Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.