I’m always a little bit jealous of those military spouses who seem to have it all together. You know the type. They’re forever patient with their children. They don’t ever fight with their husbands. They present four perfectly dressed children at early morning activities and still somehow find time to straighten their hair and do their makeup just so.
When their husbands are deployed, they send homemade treats every week, along with long, heartfelt letters. They volunteer with their Family Readiness Groups and never miss a meeting.
I’ve always wondered how they do it all. Isn’t it impossible to balance all of these responsibilities? It sure feels like it to me. Sometimes just the stress of thinking about all there is to do perfectly paralyzes me and keeps me from doing any of it.
Recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not perfect. I sometimes start crying myself when I can’t figure out what Anastasia wants to make her happy. I’m guilty of picking fights with my husband over ridiculous things like which route will shave two minutes off our trip. I only have one child and while she’s typically quite cutely dressed up, I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve worn makeup in the five months since she was born.
When Josh was deployed, I sent him just a few packages. Only one of those contained homemade baked goods. I gave up on that pretty directly after he told me, “Thanks for the crumbs.”
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just no good at this stuff. Maybe my lack of domestic prowess is a curse with which I will forever struggle. But I know now that I’m definitely not alone. I’m not the only imperfect military spouse out there. It’s so easy to get so caught up in the very few who portray perfection —
I assure you, they’re not
actually perfect — that I forget that I’m part of the majority.
Most of us have obvious flaws, and we wear them on our spit up-covered, ill-fitting sleeves. The rest, I’ve learned, are just a little better at hiding it.