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So much effort: To what end?
Letter to the Editor generic

Dear Editor: 

They put so much effort into it but to what end? What exactly are they putting so much effort into? Changing the minds and hearts of our friends and family. We have all done it, at our parents’ home over the holidays, on Facebook, at our own house over the holidays we have tried to change the minds of our friends and families when their world views do not match ours.

Different generations have different experiences of the same world and very often these experiences create a world view that does not match.  

John Stuart Mills taught trough liberalism that a person can hold any world view they want and do anything they want as long as their actions do not cause harm to anyone else. 

Very few would argue with John Stuart Mills and his liberalism philosophy.  I would almost guarantee that many of the families who have different world views and work hard to change their family members’ views do not have family members that are out there harming anyone.  So, why try changing family members minds, it can be exhausting and the action can in itself do harm? 

Changing someone’s mind is pretty tough, it is difficult but not impossible. It seems the best way to change someone’s mind is through trust, respect, compliments, and being a partner, not an adversary.

Often when we try changing our friends’ and families’ minds we find that we quickly become an adversary. 

How can we avoid this? I really feel like we have to circle back to why we want to change their mind in the first place? Is it because we love our family members and fear for them or is it simply because we do not share their world view? 

Love is a verb and even if your quest to change your mind started from a place a love you can quickly lose that love and start singing like the Black Eyed Peas circa 2003. 

It helps to remind ourselves throughout the conversation that we love this person. If we focus on love. Then it will be easier to accept and avoid hate and when you hate then you are bound to get irate.  

Always keep love front and center when dealing with friends and families and you are going to find that, the difference in world views is not as big a deal as you think it is.

John Corrigan 


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