HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
FBI agent Peter Strzok, it was learned, was fired from the Trump-Russia probe after his e-mail revealed he’s partisan anti-Trump and pro-Hillary. It’s tough for today’s FBI agents to live up to the standards for personal character set by the founder. J. Edgar Hoover left some really high heels to fill.
The London Daily Mail reports the recent celebrity and political sexual misconduct is starting to filter down to everyday people in England. The paper reports that police just arrested a man in London for offering a woman food if she’d have sex with him. The man has been charged with dating.
ABC News reported that the Space Station astronauts made pizza from scratch Monday, which is an improvement. NASA said during his year on the Space Station, Scott Kelly consumed 193 gallons of filtered human waste. And I thought the food was bad on United.
U.S. Rep. John Conyers addressed reporters Tuesday to discuss his 53 year career in Congress. So much has changed. Today first-term congressmen take an orientation class that teaches them that first dates may not be the best time to show off your collection of restraining orders.
Sen. Al Franken is set to appear before the Senate Ethics Committee to answer charges of sexual misconduct. Last week he had six more female accusers. The good news for Franken is that if he’s forced to resign as senator from Minnesota, he can still be elected senator from Alabama.
GOP Senate hopeful Roy Moore was hit by another accuser who said they dated when she was 17 and he was 32. People now accept that he could win. If Roy Moore gets elected, the Disney Store in DC and in Alexandria will start selling pepper spray in their teen clothing department.
California Democratic state Assemblyman Matt Dababneh was accused by a female lobbyist of following her into a women’s restroom and pulling out his penis and exposing it to her. What did she mean by labeling a restroom as gender-specific? You’re either a Democrat or you’re not, out here.
The View host Joy Behar went delirious on Monday’s show announcing that ABC’s Brian Ross just reported Flynn will testify Trump colluded with Russians. However Ross made a false deduction. Each morning ABC, NBC and CNN have Trump impeached, but by night Fox News lets him get away.
President Trump enjoyed a trip to Salt Lake City on Monday where he increased cattle and gas drilling land in Utah. He reversed an Obama executive order that had greatly expanded federal control of Western land. He proudly cut the ribbon at the Bear’s Ears National Park and Refinery.
President Trump renewed his call for a wall although the U.S. jobless rate hit so low that labor shortages are popping up. There is growing concern that illegal immigrants have replaced Jews as the chosen people. Every 15 minutes somebody drives by Home Depot and chooses one of them.
White House former Chief of Staff Mike Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI and agreed to cooperate with the special counsel’s Russia probe. It could have been worse. The bad news for the president is that Michael Flynn is rolling over on him, but the good news is, it’s not Chris Christie.
Robert Mueller’s probe was shown Monday to be focusing on Russia contacts after the election, not collusion during it. Polls said Hillary would win, Putin thought Hillary would win, even Trump thought Hillary would win. Then when the polls tightened and a $400,000 salary neared, I believe Trump colluded with the Russians to THROW the election, but America double-crossed him.
Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.