Apropos of nothing except this being Christmas, I’ve long suspected Santa doesn’t like the Georgia Bulldogs, despite all that red in his getup.
I suspect this because nowhere on photos of Santa I’ve seen is there one of those G’s on his cap or anywhere else.
Nor is he sporting any UGA tattoos or bumper stickers or Georgia Gnome vanity tags on his sleigh. Maybe that’s because he’s no gnome, but you get the message.
If Santa liked Georgia, he’d be decked out from head to toe in Bulldogs gear and probably have the sleigh pulled by a pack of English bulldogs, or at the very least, propelled by a motor fueled by hot air from Buck Belue.
What’s more, I’ve never heard Santa crow “Go Dawgs” after UGA beats up teams like Coastal Carolina or scream “Hunker down, you hairy Dawgs” at the TV while LSU runs them hairy mutts out of the Georgia Dome.
I do believe Santa is probably mourning Larry Munson, like me, and like me he probably thinks Herschel Walker is one of the greatest college running backs ever to run between the Hedges — or anywhere else on the planet, for that matter.
Still, Santa most likely prefers to root for Georgia Southern, as does all sensible people. I believe he’d take Erk Russell over Vince Dooley any day. And I suspect Santa knows Jeff Monken is five times the coach Mark Richt is. What’s more, I do believe ol’ Santa prefers Beautiful Eagle Creek to “The Tracks” and would rather spend a game day Saturday in Statesboro rather than Athens, surrounded by crazed people barking like my neighbor’s annoying cocker spaniel.
I could be wrong, of course. Santa could be hiding a true Bulldog passion. But somehow, I doubt it. Georgia, after all, is a program that gets all the best and continually disappoints. Every year, the Bulldogs do a little with a lot. Georgia Southern, on the other hand, does a lot with a little.
Go Eagles, merry Christmas, and please keep those who serve our country and our community in your thoughts and prayers.