Q: My 3½-year-old son has been at home with me since day one. I’m worried about his social development. He loves being around other children his age, but that doesn’t often happen. None of my friends have kids his age who he can play with, and we’re not in a position to be able to afford a preschool. During the day, he spends his time playing with toy trucks and cars and riding his tricycle around the house (we don’t watch television until he’s asleep, if then). He plays very well on his own without any help from me, but I try to get him outside for a walk or to the park every day, and of course I read to him a fair amount. He doesn’t complain of being bored, but I worry that he might be. Do I need to spend more time playing with him to make up for the lack of kids his age?
A: I was most impressed by the fact that your home is absent one of the evil flickering machines that sucks imagination, creativity and initiative out of children. Before TVs became standard household items, children were able to play imaginatively for hours on their own. Like your son, they didn’t need a lot of help from their mothers in order to occupy themselves creatively. Then, along came the TV. But I digress.
Your little fellow hardly sounds bored to me. He entertains himself well, stays out from underfoot and sits still when you read to him. Overall, it sounds like he’s adjusted to his circumstances quite well. Furthermore, I don’t think his social skills are at risk. This is a much overblown issue these days. Preschool is not necessary to healthy personality development. In fact, some researchers have discovered a connection between aggression and group care during the early years. If your son plays well with other kids, however rarely, he’s fine.
Like all too many of today’s moms, you’re jumping at shadows. Relax. Stop worrying. Enjoy watching your son grow up in a TV-free zone.
Q: My husband recently discovered that our 7-year-old son has been sucking on his stuffed animals when we put him to bed. He became very upset and took the animals away, telling our son he was too old to be sucking on them and that he could have choked. I’m thinking my husband overreacted and that we should consider letting him earn one back. What are your thoughts on this?
A: My first thought is that your son should not have to earn back what shouldn’t have been taken from him in the first place. Your husband definitely overreacted, but some dads tend to be overly sensitive to any hint of “sissy” behavior on the part of their sons. I’ll bet he wouldn’t have given this a second thought if the child in question was a daughter.
If a 7-year-old boy takes comfort from sleeping with stuffed animals, so what? And if he puts himself to sleep by sucking on their soft fur, so what? Your husband should give the stuffed animals back, with an apology.
Choke? Where’d that come from?
Psychologist Rosemond answers questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.
A: I was most impressed by the fact that your home is absent one of the evil flickering machines that sucks imagination, creativity and initiative out of children. Before TVs became standard household items, children were able to play imaginatively for hours on their own. Like your son, they didn’t need a lot of help from their mothers in order to occupy themselves creatively. Then, along came the TV. But I digress.
Your little fellow hardly sounds bored to me. He entertains himself well, stays out from underfoot and sits still when you read to him. Overall, it sounds like he’s adjusted to his circumstances quite well. Furthermore, I don’t think his social skills are at risk. This is a much overblown issue these days. Preschool is not necessary to healthy personality development. In fact, some researchers have discovered a connection between aggression and group care during the early years. If your son plays well with other kids, however rarely, he’s fine.
Like all too many of today’s moms, you’re jumping at shadows. Relax. Stop worrying. Enjoy watching your son grow up in a TV-free zone.
Q: My husband recently discovered that our 7-year-old son has been sucking on his stuffed animals when we put him to bed. He became very upset and took the animals away, telling our son he was too old to be sucking on them and that he could have choked. I’m thinking my husband overreacted and that we should consider letting him earn one back. What are your thoughts on this?
A: My first thought is that your son should not have to earn back what shouldn’t have been taken from him in the first place. Your husband definitely overreacted, but some dads tend to be overly sensitive to any hint of “sissy” behavior on the part of their sons. I’ll bet he wouldn’t have given this a second thought if the child in question was a daughter.
If a 7-year-old boy takes comfort from sleeping with stuffed animals, so what? And if he puts himself to sleep by sucking on their soft fur, so what? Your husband should give the stuffed animals back, with an apology.
Choke? Where’d that come from?
Psychologist Rosemond answers questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.