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Starting a family is personal
Military spouse
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Between pregnancy announcements, baby showers and births, it seems like my whole world has been swallowed by baby fever. And I neither have children, nor am I expecting.
It seems like after our first year of marriage, my husband and I started getting the questions about children. “So when are you having one?” “Any idea when we should expect a baby from you guys?” Now, after nearly two years of marriage, the comments are much bolder. “You just wait, I give it a year. I think you’re ready.”
Especially in the military, you find that when you don’t have children, you lack things in common with other military spouses. For me, and others in my situation who I’ve had the opportunity to visit with, it’s not that you don’t like kids, or even that you don’t want to have kids. For some, the problem lies in an inability or difficulty to have children. For others, like my husband and me, it’s a decision to postpone parenthood until after he’s served his five years. For others still, it’s a choice not to have kids at all.
Recently, I spoke with a new friend who agreed about the challenge of relating to other Army spouses without that major mutual interest — your children. During the more extensive conversations, those of us without children tend to run out of things to say. You find yourself sitting in an exchange of stories beginning with “my daughter” or “my son” and the best you can come up with to contribute is a story about “my dog.”
Despite all this, having a child is a serious responsibility — one that shouldn’t be taken lightly and one that should never be influenced by something as petty as peer pressure. We’re waiting, but I say to each his own.
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