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4 foods you should always eat
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Are you fixated on details when it comes to food? Learn how to switch to a more flexible and peaceful approach by knowing these four foods you should always eat. - photo by Emily Fonnesbeck
By now you know there are all sorts of opinions about what you should or shouldnt eat. It can feel super confusing, right? The problem lies in the approach - detail-fixated vs big picture. When we get too concerned about the details, we can miss how everything fits together. We run the risk of developing tunnel vision which could make us forget that food should be satisfying, hold meaning and bring us closer to people we love. In fact, I would argue that those are JUST as essential to health and wellness as the nutritional value of food.

But I get it, we like lists! So Ive put together a list of four foods which I believe you should eat regularly. In doing so, I hope to help you shift from a detail-fixated mindset to a big picture approach to food.

  1. Foods you find satisfying. Too many of us run scared of feeling satisfied given we equate it with overeating or weight gain. I say it all the time: feeling full and satisfied from your meals is your solution. Not feeling full and satisfied is what leads to problematic behaviors. You are physiologically and psychologically wired to receive satisfaction from food; its in your biology. You can only white knuckle restriction or lack of satisfaction for so long before you go looking for it. It has very little to do with self-control or willpower, two very misguided terms when it comes to describing our relationship with food. So instead of avoiding satisfaction, embrace it. Eating with the intent to feel satisfied will naturally decrease over or under eating, since neither is satisfying (more like uncomfortable or painful). While you may assume the opposite, giving yourself permission to feel satisfied will likely help you feel more in charge of your food choices and more in tune with your body.
  2. Foods your kids eat. The goal for dinner is to eat all together, in part to model a healthy approach to food. Everyone can eat the same meal, although how much and what they choose from the meal may vary. Too often parents are acting as short order cooks, which may create picky eaters, or are on diets which prevent them from eating dinner with their children. Instead, lets model healthy behaviors for our kids and practice moderation, variety and balance while talking positively about our food and bodies (i.e. talking about how you are giving up carbs or avoiding the pie because it might make you fat is NOT positive or healthy). Let your kids help you plan balanced meals with kid-friendly, fun, tasty and nutritious ingredients. Someday they are going to leave home and make their own food decisions and you have the opportunity to help them practice how to meet their nutritional needs in a positive, flexible and healthy way.
  3. Foods that are celebratory and hold memories. Nostalgia is delicious, right? I truly believe that eating food you love with people you love positively impacts how your body metabolizes it. While we always want to be mindful of hunger/fullness levels, we need to remember Vitamin Pleasure. I think the issue is that we mistake pleasure and satisfaction for numbing and distracting, which are very different. Eating for pleasure and satisfaction is enjoyable and leaves you feeling satisfied, content, balanced and energized. Eating to numb or distract is done quickly, usually without even tasting the food, and typically leaves you overly full, feeling unwell and remorseful. So while food can (and should) be celebratory and hold memories, we can easily start craving comfort food after a long work day, when we remember how moms Chicken Pot Pie always hit the spot after a long day at school. I find nothing wrong with that its good to feel excited about and connected with the food you eat but if youre using it to consistently distract from uncomfortable emotions or negative situations that need attention (and find it hard to listen to physical signs of fullness when doing so), it may be time for different coping strategies.
  4. Foods that make you feel good. Really, thats the ultimate goal of eating. Food should be fuel for a full and satisfying life. If its getting in the way of doing that, eating habits may be out of balance. I would encourage you to evaluate if the food is doing what you want it to - is it leaving you feeling full, satisfied and energized for a few hours? Do you find yourself tired after eating? Do you still feel hungry and preoccupied with food? A nutritious meal is one that is satisfying to eat and leaves you ready to take on the day. That will definitely look different for everyone and may take a little trial and error (and the help of a Registered Dietitian!). Dont be too concerned with what everyone else is doing and instead make decisions that honor YOUR hunger, fullness, cravings, satisfaction and health concerns.
Choosing foods to eat can feel confusing, but I dont think it has to be that way. Letting food just be food satisfying, social and energizing is surprisingly freeing.
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From the book 'Outliers' comes proof that good health is more than just genetics
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Friends Jim Young, left, Mike Natale, Jeff Natale and Ryan Kiernan were on Greenwich High School football team together and Jim and Mike were captains. Jim, who was the youngest in Sherry Young's family, was welcome in the homes of the other three boys who still had siblings around and grandparents near. - photo by Sherry Young
As I look back on my life and the lives of others, both personally and in the reading I have done, I am convinced of the necessity of positive human contact in our lives. We are doubly blessed when we are able to make good friends or are a part of a family where we are accepted and loved.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers tells of a time in the 1950s when Dr. Stewart Wolf met a physician who practiced in the area of Roseto, Pennsylvania. Roseto was settled by a group of Italian families from Roseto, Italy, who re-created their life again in America.

This was in the 1950s before drugs and measures to prevent heart disease became important. In their conversation the physician said, You know, Ive been practicing for 17 years. I get patients from all over, and I rarely find anyone from Roseto under the age of 65 with heart disease.

Wolf was surprised by these words as, It was impossible to be a doctor, common sense said, and not see heart disease.

Wolf enlisted the aid of a sociologist and friend John Bruhn to help him. They found, There was no suicide, no alcoholism, no drug addiction, and very little crime. They didnt have anyone on welfare. Then we looked at peptic ulcers. They didnt have any of those either. These people were dying of old age. Thats it.

They checked into diet, genetics and possibilities of something in the foothills of eastern Pennsylvania but nothing made sense.

What they found was that Rosetans visited one another, stopping to chat in Italian on the street, say, or cooking for one another in their backyards. (Researchers) learned about the extended family clans that underlay the towns social structure. They saw how many homes had three generations living under one roof and how much respect grandparents commanded. They went to Mass at Our Lady of Mount Carmel and saw the unifying and calming effect of the church. They counted 22 separate civic organizations in a town of just under 2,000 people. They picked up on the particular egalitarian ethos of the community, which discouraged the wealthy from flaunting their success and helped the unsuccessful obscure their failures.

What they found eventually convinced the medical establishment to look beyond the individual and understand the culture people are part of their friends, families and town they came from. They determined that the people we surround ourselves with and the values of the world we inhabit have a profound effect on who we are.

Likely, this study could have been done with other ethnicities. However, my family's experiences with the Italian families in Connecticut ring true to the study. Our hungry and growing sons, especially our youngest son, Jim, who was left home alone with two beady-eyed parents, all had some memorable experiences being fed and loved in the Cos Cob multigenerational families. Proof of the African proverb, It takes a village to raise a child.

We live in an age when the contact we have with people often is on the internet, and many of us live among strangers. Unless we make the effort to reach out, we will become isolated, especially as we age. The Rosetan study is proof that reaching out and communicating may be good for our health.
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