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Fat-acceptance has gone too far; mom wont allow her child to attend a nursery school because of t
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Her reason is outraging people everywhere. - photo by Lindsey Miller
Hilary Freeman, a mom from the U.K. is under serious criticism after writing a controversial article for The Daily Mail. In her article, she explains why she chose not to send her daughter to a nursery school, and people are outraged for her reasoning.

The controversial reason

She didnt send her child to the great school because the staff was overweight. Yes -- you read that right. She didnt want her daughter attending a school where her role models were obese, and she certainly didnt want her daughter to develop unhealthy habits there.

To start off her article, she writes, The nursery assistant was clearly a lovely woman: kind and great with children. But as I watched her play with my two-year-old daughter, I felt a growing sense of unease. She was only in her 20s, but she was already obese-- morbidly so. She moved slowly and breathlessly, her face flushed.

Was it really about her childs safety?

She explains that she worried for her childs safety-- wondering whether the nursery teacher would be able to have quick enough reflexes to save her daughter if needed. Its a valid concern, but her other reasons were not. In fact, they might be considered offensive to some.

Freeman looked around the room and saw that the other members of the staff were also overweight, and she wrote, I couldnt help worrying about the message this was sending to the children in their care: that being very fat is normal and -- when children adopt role models so readily -- even desirable.

She compared obesity to chain smoking

Freeman goes on to talk about how fat-positivity and fat-acceptance have gone too far. She notes that everyone, despite their genes or mental health, can achieve a healthy weight. She then compares it to smoking.

She says, If that nursery assistant had been chain-smoking, everyone would have condemned her. But as a public health concern, the only real difference between smoking and obesity is that you cant passively get fat.

She ended her article by saying, Discrimination is never good. But neither is obesity. So lets stop celebrating it, and instead offer a bit of tough love.

Be healthy, but dont fat-shame

While its important to stay healthy and active, that doesnt necessarily mean skinny. And, its never OK to fat-shame anyone, regardless of the circumstances. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and comfortable in their own skin while working toward a healthy lifestyle.

Her daughter now attends a nursery school where the staff are all a healthy weight. Freeman has the right to send her daughter to whatever school she feels would be best, but that decision certainly shouldnt be based on how heavy the staff members are.

Moms, teach your kids how to live a healthy lifestyle. Teach them how to exercise, what foods will make their body function well and make sure they know a treat every once in awhile is OK. If theyre unhappy with their bodies at any point, help them make healthy changes until theyre happy with it. But most importantly, teach them to love and accept everyone, regardless of their size.
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From the book 'Outliers' comes proof that good health is more than just genetics
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Friends Jim Young, left, Mike Natale, Jeff Natale and Ryan Kiernan were on Greenwich High School football team together and Jim and Mike were captains. Jim, who was the youngest in Sherry Young's family, was welcome in the homes of the other three boys who still had siblings around and grandparents near. - photo by Sherry Young
As I look back on my life and the lives of others, both personally and in the reading I have done, I am convinced of the necessity of positive human contact in our lives. We are doubly blessed when we are able to make good friends or are a part of a family where we are accepted and loved.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers tells of a time in the 1950s when Dr. Stewart Wolf met a physician who practiced in the area of Roseto, Pennsylvania. Roseto was settled by a group of Italian families from Roseto, Italy, who re-created their life again in America.

This was in the 1950s before drugs and measures to prevent heart disease became important. In their conversation the physician said, You know, Ive been practicing for 17 years. I get patients from all over, and I rarely find anyone from Roseto under the age of 65 with heart disease.

Wolf was surprised by these words as, It was impossible to be a doctor, common sense said, and not see heart disease.

Wolf enlisted the aid of a sociologist and friend John Bruhn to help him. They found, There was no suicide, no alcoholism, no drug addiction, and very little crime. They didnt have anyone on welfare. Then we looked at peptic ulcers. They didnt have any of those either. These people were dying of old age. Thats it.

They checked into diet, genetics and possibilities of something in the foothills of eastern Pennsylvania but nothing made sense.

What they found was that Rosetans visited one another, stopping to chat in Italian on the street, say, or cooking for one another in their backyards. (Researchers) learned about the extended family clans that underlay the towns social structure. They saw how many homes had three generations living under one roof and how much respect grandparents commanded. They went to Mass at Our Lady of Mount Carmel and saw the unifying and calming effect of the church. They counted 22 separate civic organizations in a town of just under 2,000 people. They picked up on the particular egalitarian ethos of the community, which discouraged the wealthy from flaunting their success and helped the unsuccessful obscure their failures.

What they found eventually convinced the medical establishment to look beyond the individual and understand the culture people are part of their friends, families and town they came from. They determined that the people we surround ourselves with and the values of the world we inhabit have a profound effect on who we are.

Likely, this study could have been done with other ethnicities. However, my family's experiences with the Italian families in Connecticut ring true to the study. Our hungry and growing sons, especially our youngest son, Jim, who was left home alone with two beady-eyed parents, all had some memorable experiences being fed and loved in the Cos Cob multigenerational families. Proof of the African proverb, It takes a village to raise a child.

We live in an age when the contact we have with people often is on the internet, and many of us live among strangers. Unless we make the effort to reach out, we will become isolated, especially as we age. The Rosetan study is proof that reaching out and communicating may be good for our health.
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