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When emotional eating is A-OK
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The goal with emotional eating isn't to eradicate all emotional eating. The goal is to simply create awareness around hunger, fullness and emotions and to do your best to find balance and peace. That will look different for everyone. - photo by Paige Smathers
Emotional eating gets vilified a lot. We often spend so much time worrying about what goes into our mouths at the expense of worrying about what we allow to take up space and energy in our minds.

How we talk to ourselves in our mind and having a positive relationship with food are important facets of health that sometimes get overlooked.

When pursuing a better connection to our bodies through intuitive eating and gentle nutrition, we can feel anxious about eating for reasons other than true hunger. Many people who realize that diets aren't the answer end up unknowingly turning intuitive eating into yet another diet.

Here's an important point: Intuitive eating isn't doing its job for you if you're attempting to be perfect at it. Intuitive eating, by nature, allows for lots of wiggle room to hone in on a place with feeding yourself and nourishing your body in a way that's right for you. It's not intended to be a method to find a "perfect" way to eat because perfection especially with food and eating doesn't really exist.

If you're someone who has engaged in lots of emotional eating in the past, it's important to recognize that the goal isn't to never emotionally eat. Obviously, putting food in your mouth every time you're feeling something isn't going to lead to optimal health. But creating tons of stress and anxiety around food because you are so nervous about eating for reasons other than hunger isn't good for your health either.

The goal with emotional eating, specifically, is simply to become aware of the times you're eating when you're not truly hungry, and with that awareness attempt to understand when eating for a reason other than hunger is working for you and when it isn't.

Here's a recent example of when emotional eating was A-OK for me.

My 5-year-old had been anxiously awaiting the first day of summer for months. A few weeks ago, she woke up and finally the day was here! She really wanted to celebrate the first day of summer with an ice cream cone, so that's exactly what we did. Some might call our little ice cream outing an example of emotional eating since it was right after lunch and none of us was hungry.

Although my littles definitely need a little help learning the art of ice cream cone eating, they were sticky messes by the end, I wouldn't have traded this "emotional eating" experience for the world. The goal isn't to eradicate all emotional eating. The goal is to make the times you're eating for reasons other than hunger worth it for you. And that will look different for every person.

Don't be afraid of emotional eating. As with anything, it can be taken to the extreme on either end of the spectrum, but just focus on finding that middle ground that feels right for you. There are times when eating with emotion is exactly what you need, and that's perfectly OK.
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From the book 'Outliers' comes proof that good health is more than just genetics
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Friends Jim Young, left, Mike Natale, Jeff Natale and Ryan Kiernan were on Greenwich High School football team together and Jim and Mike were captains. Jim, who was the youngest in Sherry Young's family, was welcome in the homes of the other three boys who still had siblings around and grandparents near. - photo by Sherry Young
As I look back on my life and the lives of others, both personally and in the reading I have done, I am convinced of the necessity of positive human contact in our lives. We are doubly blessed when we are able to make good friends or are a part of a family where we are accepted and loved.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers tells of a time in the 1950s when Dr. Stewart Wolf met a physician who practiced in the area of Roseto, Pennsylvania. Roseto was settled by a group of Italian families from Roseto, Italy, who re-created their life again in America.

This was in the 1950s before drugs and measures to prevent heart disease became important. In their conversation the physician said, You know, Ive been practicing for 17 years. I get patients from all over, and I rarely find anyone from Roseto under the age of 65 with heart disease.

Wolf was surprised by these words as, It was impossible to be a doctor, common sense said, and not see heart disease.

Wolf enlisted the aid of a sociologist and friend John Bruhn to help him. They found, There was no suicide, no alcoholism, no drug addiction, and very little crime. They didnt have anyone on welfare. Then we looked at peptic ulcers. They didnt have any of those either. These people were dying of old age. Thats it.

They checked into diet, genetics and possibilities of something in the foothills of eastern Pennsylvania but nothing made sense.

What they found was that Rosetans visited one another, stopping to chat in Italian on the street, say, or cooking for one another in their backyards. (Researchers) learned about the extended family clans that underlay the towns social structure. They saw how many homes had three generations living under one roof and how much respect grandparents commanded. They went to Mass at Our Lady of Mount Carmel and saw the unifying and calming effect of the church. They counted 22 separate civic organizations in a town of just under 2,000 people. They picked up on the particular egalitarian ethos of the community, which discouraged the wealthy from flaunting their success and helped the unsuccessful obscure their failures.

What they found eventually convinced the medical establishment to look beyond the individual and understand the culture people are part of their friends, families and town they came from. They determined that the people we surround ourselves with and the values of the world we inhabit have a profound effect on who we are.

Likely, this study could have been done with other ethnicities. However, my family's experiences with the Italian families in Connecticut ring true to the study. Our hungry and growing sons, especially our youngest son, Jim, who was left home alone with two beady-eyed parents, all had some memorable experiences being fed and loved in the Cos Cob multigenerational families. Proof of the African proverb, It takes a village to raise a child.

We live in an age when the contact we have with people often is on the internet, and many of us live among strangers. Unless we make the effort to reach out, we will become isolated, especially as we age. The Rosetan study is proof that reaching out and communicating may be good for our health.
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