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11 theories about love that you're getting all wrong
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True love probably isn't what you think it is - photo by Katelyn Carmen
When I got married, I thought I knew everything there was to know about love.

Oh, how I was wrong.

Two years later, I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface of what love really means, but I've learned some valuable lessons along the way.

Here are 11 common misconceptions about love that you need to stop believing if you want to have a happy marriage:

1. You're always going to like each other

Hate to break it to you, but you're not. There are going to be many times when you drive each other absolutely crazy -- and that's okay. I'd bet that you can't think of a single person that you like 100% of the time. Why should your spouse be any different? You can love someone and still not like them sometimes.

2. You'll feel the same as you did when you were dating

The giddy, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling doesn't last forever. Over time, when those feelings fade, you'll realize that the excitement you felt when you were dating doesn't translate over in marriage. However, what you discover in its place is even better. Infatuation is short-lived. True love and devotion are forever.

3. Love is easy

Marriage takes work, and sometimes loving is hard. Love requires the very best of us and all of our efforts. It requires us to sacrifice, to feel pain and to give without expecting anything in return.

4. Life will always be happy

No marriage is without struggles, difficulties and devastating moments. You may not be happy now, but that doesn't mean that you aren't in love anymore. Have faith that things will work out, hold on tightly to one another, and believe in good times ahead.

5. You can solve any problem

Love is full of solvable and unsolvable problems. There are going to be issues you discuss right now that are never going to resolve. So if you're always falling back into the same old fights without ever really finding a solution, that's okay. It's normal.

6. Love always feels good

It doesn't. Sometimes it's intensely painful. But that's what happens when someone becomes so insanely important to you. You make your heart vulnerable and open it up to hurt and pain.

7. Your spouse can fulfill all your needs

No matter how much you want your spouse to fulfill your every need, they just can't. It's impossible. They'll never understand your girl problems as well as your best friend or play sports like your brothers. But that's okay. That's why you have other people in your life.

8. You can do no wrong

Even though they love you, and they are willing to forgive you, doesn't mean you don't have to be on your best behavior. It's a lot easier sometimes to be kinder to strangers than you are to your own spouse. That's inexcusable. You can do wrong. You can hurt. So treat your husband or wife better than you would like to be treated.

9. If you put other things first, it won't affect your relationship

It will. When you put your spouse's needs in last place, you're letting them know that they are unimportant to you. Obviously, there are going to be plenty of times when other needs are going to have to come first, but just make sure your husband or wife isn't the last priority.

10. All your dreams will come true

You probably won't live in your dream house or go on exotic vacations. You might not ever have the kind of money you wished for, or the types of kids you thought you'd have. But chances are, at the end of your life, things will have turned out better than you ever imagined -- just in different ways.

11. Our capability to love is finite

There is no end to love, and there is no limit to the amount that a human soul is allowed to feel or give. You may think that you love your spouse now, but frankly, this is just the beginning. Love is the most powerful force in the world, and you will have the ability to love so much more than you could ever imagine as you learn to cultivate and protect it.
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New Medicare cards are in the mail and scammers are on the prowl
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The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has begun mailing new Medicare Health Insurance ID cards. The program no longer uses Social Security numbers to identify people. - photo by Lois M Collins
The federal government is beginning to send out new ID cards to the 58 million Americans who benefit from Medicare. But since many of the people who will receive them don't know they're coming or why, scammers are already gearing up to take advantage.

An AARP survey shows as many as three-fourths of Americans 65 and older have no idea the cards are coming, so some individuals may be duped with claims that they're supposed to pay a fee or provide personal information that will be used, instead, to defraud them.

The new cards are the first reissue in years, and the most striking part of the redesign is that the cards no longer carry the beneficiary's Social Security number. Congress mandated the removal of that number as an identifier for Medicare beneficiaries by next April. Instead, the card has a Medicare Beneficiary Identifier number, an 11-digit combination of numbers and letters.

The new Medicare cards are now being mailed out in batches, starting with the Eastern seaboard and moving west. Most Medicare beneficiaries will receive their cards over the next six months, as long as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has their correct mailing address. Once the cards are in hand, people can share the new identification number with their health care providers. During a transition period, either card is valid.

The old cards, which used Social Security numbers as the personal identification number, should be destroyed.

AARP recently launched an education campaign to warn consumers about scams related to the new Medicare cards.

The membership organization's "Fraud Watch" consultant, Frank Abagnale reformed con man, scammer and the subject of the movie and book "Catch Me If You Can" tells senior citizens the only time they need to carry the actual Medicare card is to health care appointments. Otherwise, it should be left in a safe place. If they want to carry one in their wallet or purse, he says, make a copy and black out the first seven numbers.

Since the cards were announced, scammers have already:

  • Called seniors and asked for their bank account information so that money on their old card could be returned. There is no money on the old card and CMS never asks for personal information over the phone.
  • Offered to send the new card after Medicare beneficiaries pay a $25 fee to cover expenses related to the card. The card is free.
  • Said the card will be mailed out as soon as the older person verifies his or her Social Security number, mailing address and other personal information. CMS already knows the beneficiary's Social Security number and it's no longer being used in conjunction with health care.
AARP and the Federal Trade Commission will hold a free online seminar about the cards and the fraud attempts they have spawned on Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. EDT. Register at: www.aarp.org/FraudWebinar. CMS also offers a "frequently asked questions" guide to the new cards.

The AARP Fraud Watch Network says consumers can sign up for its Watchdog Alert emails that deliver breaking scam information, or call a free helpline at 877-908-3360 to speak with volunteers trained in fraud counseling. Abagnale also hosts a weekly podcast for AARP, called The Perfect Scam.
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