By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
4 ways to reboot your marriage when you no longer love your spouse
Here's the advice that saved my marriage. Give your heart another chance at loving your spouse by following these four steps today. - photo by Aaren Humpherys
When I got married my dad gave me and my bride the most ridiculous advice (so I thought). I want to tell you what to do when you no longer love your spouse.

After several years of marriage, three kids, and the monotonous grind of a demanding job, I started to hear the shoulder devil say, Are you sure you married the right woman? Look at that woman over there. She has a much slimmer, athletic body. You dont love your wife anymore. You deserve someone better.

Following my dads advice helped me shut out those tantalizing messages. Give your heart one last chance to fall back in love, save you from a life of regret, and save your kids (if you have kids) a lifetime of pain.

Here's the advice that saved my marriage:

1. Stop keeping secrets

Secrecy is the tool the shoulder devil uses to break marriages apart my dad said. We all make mistakes. Its human. Keeping it a secret, however, starts you down the slope of falling out of love and the longer you keep the secret, the further you fall.

If you find yourself down at the bottom of the cliff, climb back up by being honest with your spouse. Tell your secrets and ask for forgiveness. Commit today to being completely honest.

2. Stop viewing any form of pornography or reading romance novels

Nothing kills true love quicker than porn or reading erotic stories. Youll start comparing your spouses body to what you see on the screen, or comparing your marriage to the fake plots in books. They will open the window to hearing the shoulder devils tempting messages and will kill true love, not enhance it.

3. Remember your commitments to each other at the altar

You committed to each other, to your parents, to your friends, and to the world to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. Remember what made you fall in love the first time and write a letter to your spouse how you first fell in love.

Over the last few years Ive written over two dozen such notes and every time it has reminded me why I love her, how incredibly blessed I am and lucky I am. Whenever I start to hear the shoulder devil again, I write a letter.

4. Serve each other unconditionally with no expectation of having sex

For the next five days commit to serving your spouse with no expectation of receiving anything in return. You may not feel like doing anything nice but the action will produce the feeling.

Remember all the nice things you did for each other before getting married? Start doing them again. Loving your spouse by serving unconditionally will spark the feeling of love again in your heart.

After doing these four steps, my wife and I are closer physically, emotionally, and spiritually than weve ever been in our 19 years of marriage. Give your heart another chance at loving your spouse by following these four steps today.
Sign up for our e-newsletters