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5 topics to never bring up with an expectant mother
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It seems pregnant women are more sensitive than usual, especially about certain topics. Here are five to stay away from. - photo by Megan Shauri
Women tend to be emotional creatures, and when we are pregnant, we are even more emotional. The littlest thing can offend us, make us cry or make us angry. There are some topics that set us off more than others. Here are five topics that are best to avoid bringing up to an expectant mother.

1. The size of her belly

This should be obvious; just as you do not talk to someone about his or her weight, you shouldnt talk to a pregnant woman about the size of her belly. We are self-conscious enough about our growing bodies; we do not need anyone to point out to us how big we are getting. Even if you think your comments are well-intended, keep them to yourself. Things like, You will probably deliver early because you seem big for how far along you are, or this will probably be a really big baby because you look huge, or Youre only how many months along? I would have guessed you were further than that are not something a pregnant woman wants to hear. Even women that seem smaller than they should be do not like to hear that. Some people have health problems or issues that they are worried about, and pointing out that they are not the size you think they should be is only going to upset them.

2. Birth stories

Unless a pregnant woman asks to hear how your birth story went, dont bring it up. There is nothing worse than hearing horror stories about what might happen to her in just a few months. Just because you went through 30 hours of labor and still had to have an emergency C-section does not mean that will happen to her. It will just worry her, make her anxious and perhaps give her nightmares of the big day.

3. If this pregnancy was expected

As a mother of boy and girl twins, I cannot tell you how often I was told that I am so lucky because now I am done. I have a boy and a girl and do not need any more kids. So does that mean that people only have more than one child because they are trying to get one of each sex? And a third, fourth or beyond child must have been an oops? This is not an appropriate thing to say to anyone. Asking if a pregnancy was planned or conceived naturally is very personal. Even if a child was not planned, it does not mean he or she is not wanted. This is not an appropriate topic to bring up.

4. What she should and shouldnt be doing

It is very rare for a pregnant woman to not know the dos and donts of being pregnant. She goes to her doctor several times throughout her pregnancy, and they are monitoring her and advising her on activities, foods and things she needs to avoid or do more of. She does not need everyone else telling her what to do. For example, doctors are finding that physical activity is actually healthy for pregnant women, yet it seems that as soon as a woman gets pregnant she is told to take it easy and be careful. There are definitely certain foods a pregnant woman should avoid, but again, her doctor will review these with her and even monitor certain hormone levels to determine if she is getting enough of what she needs, and not too much of what she doesnt need (like sugar). While old wives tales and home remedies may have worked for you, that does not mean it is right for her. Unless she directly asks you, keep your thoughts about what she is or isnt doing to yourself.

5. Comments about her name choice

It seems people are so anxious to find out what someone plans to name her baby before he or she is born. Even strangers who she has never met before will ask if a name has been chosen. People feel it is their duty to give you their approval, and if they do not like the name they are free to say so as well. They also have an opinion about how you spell the name, pronounce the name and even if you should call the baby something besides the name youve chosen (like suggesting you call him or her by the middle name, or a nickname -- like Ben for Benton). This is not OK. A name is the second gift a parent gives their child; life is the first. It is something they have probably researched and said out loud a million times to make sure it is what they want. If a parent does decide to tell you the name he or she is thinking of, make your only response, "I like that.

All of these topics are touchy, so dont be surprised if you get snapped at or yelled at if you do bring them up, but my advice is to simply avoid them altogether.
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New Medicare cards are in the mail and scammers are on the prowl
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The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has begun mailing new Medicare Health Insurance ID cards. The program no longer uses Social Security numbers to identify people. - photo by Lois M Collins
The federal government is beginning to send out new ID cards to the 58 million Americans who benefit from Medicare. But since many of the people who will receive them don't know they're coming or why, scammers are already gearing up to take advantage.

An AARP survey shows as many as three-fourths of Americans 65 and older have no idea the cards are coming, so some individuals may be duped with claims that they're supposed to pay a fee or provide personal information that will be used, instead, to defraud them.

The new cards are the first reissue in years, and the most striking part of the redesign is that the cards no longer carry the beneficiary's Social Security number. Congress mandated the removal of that number as an identifier for Medicare beneficiaries by next April. Instead, the card has a Medicare Beneficiary Identifier number, an 11-digit combination of numbers and letters.

The new Medicare cards are now being mailed out in batches, starting with the Eastern seaboard and moving west. Most Medicare beneficiaries will receive their cards over the next six months, as long as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has their correct mailing address. Once the cards are in hand, people can share the new identification number with their health care providers. During a transition period, either card is valid.

The old cards, which used Social Security numbers as the personal identification number, should be destroyed.

AARP recently launched an education campaign to warn consumers about scams related to the new Medicare cards.

The membership organization's "Fraud Watch" consultant, Frank Abagnale reformed con man, scammer and the subject of the movie and book "Catch Me If You Can" tells senior citizens the only time they need to carry the actual Medicare card is to health care appointments. Otherwise, it should be left in a safe place. If they want to carry one in their wallet or purse, he says, make a copy and black out the first seven numbers.

Since the cards were announced, scammers have already:

  • Called seniors and asked for their bank account information so that money on their old card could be returned. There is no money on the old card and CMS never asks for personal information over the phone.
  • Offered to send the new card after Medicare beneficiaries pay a $25 fee to cover expenses related to the card. The card is free.
  • Said the card will be mailed out as soon as the older person verifies his or her Social Security number, mailing address and other personal information. CMS already knows the beneficiary's Social Security number and it's no longer being used in conjunction with health care.
AARP and the Federal Trade Commission will hold a free online seminar about the cards and the fraud attempts they have spawned on Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. EDT. Register at: www.aarp.org/FraudWebinar. CMS also offers a "frequently asked questions" guide to the new cards.

The AARP Fraud Watch Network says consumers can sign up for its Watchdog Alert emails that deliver breaking scam information, or call a free helpline at 877-908-3360 to speak with volunteers trained in fraud counseling. Abagnale also hosts a weekly podcast for AARP, called The Perfect Scam.
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