By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
How to not underestimate your kids
d6852785bdb20e0563e410f1353ed0a1e313ece24e1137ca20ca094a5e6367f3
Letting your kids soar to new heights is usually every parent's goal, but it can be hard helping them get off the ground. Here's how to give your kids wings to fly, rather than keeping them on the ground. - photo by Megan Shauri
As kids grow, their abilities grow as well. What they understand, comprehend and what they can achieve changes almost daily. While we may know this is happening, sometimes it is hard to accept that they can do more than we think they can.

Here are some tips on how to not hold your children back. Instead, push them forward:

Dont take over

I am really guilty of this one. When I see my child struggling, it is very hard to let them. I just want to step in and take over so they don't have to struggle. Sadly, this is the opposite of what I should be doing. If your kids dont struggle now with the little things, how are they going to face much bigger challenges later in life? They need to learn endurance and how to recover once challenges are over which doesn't happen if mom steps in to fix everything.

Learning to get back up and try again takes time and the earlier they learn to do so, the more automatic of a response it becomes. So the next time you see them spill the milk they were trying to pour, dont take over! If its possible, offer to help but if it enables them in any way, it is best to just stand back and watch. As hard as it may be for you (and me) it is the right thing to do.

Have patience

Truth be told, it's faster and easier to just do things yourself...but it takes the opportunity away from your child. These opportunities are important steps in their life. While you are much faster at picking up and putting away your kids toys than they are, if you do it every time, they will never learn to clean up their own mess. While you may be tempted to take over your childs science project, that is taking the opportunity to learn about a new topic away from them.

Teaching is a skill it takes a lot of patience, love and knowledge. As a parent, you automatically become your childs teacher. When it is time to clean up, cook, do homework or complete some activity that you want them to learn, give yourself plenty of time. Take lots of deep breaths and dont underestimate their ability. It may be gradual but after the first few tries, they will be able to do it themselves without any help or instructions from you.

Believe in them

Kids can sense when they have your support or not. If you believe in them, they are more likely to believe in themselves. That extra encouragement from you may be just what they need to keep going, take that next step or achieve something great.

No one wants their kids to fail, but we may be questioning their abilities without even knowing it. For example, when carrying bags of groceries into the house, I am guilty of telling my child that the bag is too heavy for them. As a result they dont even try. Instead I should hand them the bag and let them decide if its too heavy or not. Of course Im not going to hand my 5-year-old a 40 pound bag of dog food, but I can let her carry in a gallon of milk. In fact, if I tell her she can do it, she will. Sure it may be hard for her, but with my encouragement, she is more likely to do it than if I tell her she cant without even letting her try.

Make cant a bad word

The word cant is considered a four-letter word in our house. My kids, myself and my spouse are not allowed to use that word. We can explain why something is hard, but not how we are going to give up because we "can't" do something. Talking about why were struggling can actually help us come up with a solution. But just stating you cant do it ends all attempts at trying, finding a solution or giving your full effort. Eliminate it from your household vocabulary.

Dont rely on statistics

Just because statistics say your child is too young to learn to play an instrument, dont let that stop you from trying. Yes, statistics are based on research, but every child is different. If you let those stats rule how you parent, you may be denying your child the opportunity to do something they may be really good at. See what interests your child and let them try. It may take a little while longer for them to get it, but thats okay. They are developing and learning at their own rate and that's what is important.

It may be hard to fight the urge to take over, do it yourself or tell your child they cant do something, but it is important that you do. By underestimating your child you are doing them a disservice. Let them help you, even if it means a bigger mess then you started with. That is how they learn. That is how they develop into amazing people who feel they have no limits in life, that they can do anything they put their mind to. That mindset starts now, so help them develop it instead of stifling it.
Sign up for our e-newsletters
New Medicare cards are in the mail and scammers are on the prowl
15a28f62e4e53fcceb32746533cbdfdf48abb7c7d42a28dbb1aeb1083721f23b
The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has begun mailing new Medicare Health Insurance ID cards. The program no longer uses Social Security numbers to identify people. - photo by Lois M Collins
The federal government is beginning to send out new ID cards to the 58 million Americans who benefit from Medicare. But since many of the people who will receive them don't know they're coming or why, scammers are already gearing up to take advantage.

An AARP survey shows as many as three-fourths of Americans 65 and older have no idea the cards are coming, so some individuals may be duped with claims that they're supposed to pay a fee or provide personal information that will be used, instead, to defraud them.

The new cards are the first reissue in years, and the most striking part of the redesign is that the cards no longer carry the beneficiary's Social Security number. Congress mandated the removal of that number as an identifier for Medicare beneficiaries by next April. Instead, the card has a Medicare Beneficiary Identifier number, an 11-digit combination of numbers and letters.

The new Medicare cards are now being mailed out in batches, starting with the Eastern seaboard and moving west. Most Medicare beneficiaries will receive their cards over the next six months, as long as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has their correct mailing address. Once the cards are in hand, people can share the new identification number with their health care providers. During a transition period, either card is valid.

The old cards, which used Social Security numbers as the personal identification number, should be destroyed.

AARP recently launched an education campaign to warn consumers about scams related to the new Medicare cards.

The membership organization's "Fraud Watch" consultant, Frank Abagnale reformed con man, scammer and the subject of the movie and book "Catch Me If You Can" tells senior citizens the only time they need to carry the actual Medicare card is to health care appointments. Otherwise, it should be left in a safe place. If they want to carry one in their wallet or purse, he says, make a copy and black out the first seven numbers.

Since the cards were announced, scammers have already:

  • Called seniors and asked for their bank account information so that money on their old card could be returned. There is no money on the old card and CMS never asks for personal information over the phone.
  • Offered to send the new card after Medicare beneficiaries pay a $25 fee to cover expenses related to the card. The card is free.
  • Said the card will be mailed out as soon as the older person verifies his or her Social Security number, mailing address and other personal information. CMS already knows the beneficiary's Social Security number and it's no longer being used in conjunction with health care.
AARP and the Federal Trade Commission will hold a free online seminar about the cards and the fraud attempts they have spawned on Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. EDT. Register at: www.aarp.org/FraudWebinar. CMS also offers a "frequently asked questions" guide to the new cards.

The AARP Fraud Watch Network says consumers can sign up for its Watchdog Alert emails that deliver breaking scam information, or call a free helpline at 877-908-3360 to speak with volunteers trained in fraud counseling. Abagnale also hosts a weekly podcast for AARP, called The Perfect Scam.
Latest Obituaries