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The No. 1 reason for family rifts
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A new study has found the number one reason families split apart, and the answer isn't good for newlyweds. - photo by Herb Scribner
Families sometimes fight during the holiday season. It could be because the food is too cold, the table isn't set or the driveway isn't shoveled.

But a new study has found the top reason and its not good for newlyweds.

The study, done by Cambridge University and estrangement charity Stand Alone, found that families often lose contact with each other because of their sons new wife, according to The Telegraph. Specifically, the study found that parents lose contact with their sons more than their daughters because the parents often have issues with their new daughter-in-law, The Telegrah reported.

My son and I had a very strong loving relationship for 25 years, one mother wrote in a section of the study. He met his soontobe wife and our relationship and his relationships with everyone on his side slowly went away. Everyone that knew him including friends and family saw this and felt this. He disowned anyone that does not like his now wife. My relationship with him was the last one.

Those rifts between sons and parents last about a third longer than arguments between parents and their daughters, according to The Telegraph.

The findings provide backing for the time-honoured saying that a son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life, according to The Telegraph.

Parents are also likely to cut off ties with their children due to traumatic events or because of a divorce, The Telegraph reported. Parents are also likely to stop talking to their daughters because of issues with their young ones marriages or because of tensions with the in-laws, according to The Telegraph.

Getting along with a daughter or son-in-law can be difficult for many families, especially around the holidays when social interactions between family members are encouraged.

In an article for The Huffington Post, Julie Weingarden offered a piece of advice that might work best keep a little space.

A relationship with your daughter-in-law minus tension may sound nice, but keeping a little space between you can be good for you both, she wrote.

Experts told Weingarden that mothers and their daughters-in-law tend to have very fragile relationships, which can become unhinged with the wrong comment or if a parent learns something about their child that they didnt really want to know.

It isnt beneficial for you or your daughter-in-law to open up excessively because your relationship is more fragile than you may realize, Dr. Deanna Brann told Weingarten. If you hear about your sons behavior, it can be hurtful, especially if its derogatory in nature, and then what do you do with that information?

And having too close of a relationship with your daughter-in-law could put a strain on your childs marriage, Brann told The Huffington Post.

If your daughter-in-law reveals details about her marriage, its a betrayal to her husband and it can significantly affect their marriage, Brann told The Huffington Post. Men need to separate from their parents, particularly their mothers; if your daughter-in-law shares private marital woes or matters, it can impede your sons development in this area.

There are also a number of things that in-laws will want to look out for when theyre dealing with their childs new husband or wife, Cambridge University Terri Apter told Newsweek in 2009.

Parents will want to be weary of giving advice on how to deal with a marriage or parenting, since the new in-law could take that the wrong way, Apter said. Parents will also want to make sure they dont criticize their new child-in-law too much either, since that, once again, puts their childs marriage at risk.

"This should be obvious but it's worth highlighting how damaging this is, because the son is very likely to bring up the topic with his wife," Apter told Newsweek. "It's better to talk to your son and daughter-in-law together."
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New Medicare cards are in the mail and scammers are on the prowl
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The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has begun mailing new Medicare Health Insurance ID cards. The program no longer uses Social Security numbers to identify people. - photo by Lois M Collins
The federal government is beginning to send out new ID cards to the 58 million Americans who benefit from Medicare. But since many of the people who will receive them don't know they're coming or why, scammers are already gearing up to take advantage.

An AARP survey shows as many as three-fourths of Americans 65 and older have no idea the cards are coming, so some individuals may be duped with claims that they're supposed to pay a fee or provide personal information that will be used, instead, to defraud them.

The new cards are the first reissue in years, and the most striking part of the redesign is that the cards no longer carry the beneficiary's Social Security number. Congress mandated the removal of that number as an identifier for Medicare beneficiaries by next April. Instead, the card has a Medicare Beneficiary Identifier number, an 11-digit combination of numbers and letters.

The new Medicare cards are now being mailed out in batches, starting with the Eastern seaboard and moving west. Most Medicare beneficiaries will receive their cards over the next six months, as long as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has their correct mailing address. Once the cards are in hand, people can share the new identification number with their health care providers. During a transition period, either card is valid.

The old cards, which used Social Security numbers as the personal identification number, should be destroyed.

AARP recently launched an education campaign to warn consumers about scams related to the new Medicare cards.

The membership organization's "Fraud Watch" consultant, Frank Abagnale reformed con man, scammer and the subject of the movie and book "Catch Me If You Can" tells senior citizens the only time they need to carry the actual Medicare card is to health care appointments. Otherwise, it should be left in a safe place. If they want to carry one in their wallet or purse, he says, make a copy and black out the first seven numbers.

Since the cards were announced, scammers have already:

  • Called seniors and asked for their bank account information so that money on their old card could be returned. There is no money on the old card and CMS never asks for personal information over the phone.
  • Offered to send the new card after Medicare beneficiaries pay a $25 fee to cover expenses related to the card. The card is free.
  • Said the card will be mailed out as soon as the older person verifies his or her Social Security number, mailing address and other personal information. CMS already knows the beneficiary's Social Security number and it's no longer being used in conjunction with health care.
AARP and the Federal Trade Commission will hold a free online seminar about the cards and the fraud attempts they have spawned on Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. EDT. Register at: www.aarp.org/FraudWebinar. CMS also offers a "frequently asked questions" guide to the new cards.

The AARP Fraud Watch Network says consumers can sign up for its Watchdog Alert emails that deliver breaking scam information, or call a free helpline at 877-908-3360 to speak with volunteers trained in fraud counseling. Abagnale also hosts a weekly podcast for AARP, called The Perfect Scam.
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