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The not-so-secret key to a happy marriage
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Marriage requires more than just love and passion. Is your relationship built on a sure foundation? - photo by Wendy Jessen
There are a lot of key ingredients to a happy marriage that is long-lasting and satisfying for both the husband and wife. But, one quality seems to rise above the rest.

Marry your best friend

In a recent marriage article that explores happy marriages, participants noted what made their marriages great. When asked the question: Whats the secret to a long, happy marriage such as yours? a common answer from people in long marriages was: I married my best friend ... Similarly, from those whose marriages did not succeed, ... Well, we were good at love, but we never learned how to be friends.

Think about your current best friend (hopefully your spouse) or best friends you've had throughout your life. What qualities do best-friend relationships have? What makes a person your best friend? What do BFFs do together?

Be lovers and best friends

Having a passionate love life is great, but what happens when/if that dwindles? You need to have a solid foundation underneath to keep your relationship strong. You need to enjoy each other's company even when you're not being physically intimate. Couples should do activities together they both love, spend time just being together and be happy to just be.

Enjoy the little, daily things, not just the big moments

Sure, going on a big trip together like a Caribbean cruise or taking a second or third honeymoon are amazing opportunities to spend some alone time as a couple. But, if you can't find joy in the smaller, day-to-day life moments, you're missing out on so much marital bliss.

Couples strengthen their relationships by working togetherdoing dishes, grocery shopping, gardening and taking care of their children. You don't have to have big, expensive times together to make your love grow. Have regular date nights or cuddle on the couch while watching TV or a movie. There is simplicity and beauty in everyday life, and realizing that is the most important foundation of your relationship. Enjoy the ordinary with your spouse.

Make your marriage solid

Being best friends is a really solid foundation for a wonderful marriage. But, as with any relationship, if you don't put in the time and effort, it will slowly erode and fail. Find time to talk, reevaluate how things are going in your relationship and make alone time a priorityevery single day.

Kids, work, responsibilities and other distractions will take up all of your time if you let it, but your marriage needs to come first above all else. Make it a priority and your relationship will become stronger and your marriage more solid.

Even if you didn't initially didn't marry your best friend, you can work to become best friends with your spouse. Having passion and love in your marriage is important, but having a solid foundation of friendship is vital. Nurture your relationship by doing things together you both love and enjoy. With a strong friendship, you'll find the other aspects of your marriage also improve.
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New Medicare cards are in the mail and scammers are on the prowl
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The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has begun mailing new Medicare Health Insurance ID cards. The program no longer uses Social Security numbers to identify people. - photo by Lois M Collins
The federal government is beginning to send out new ID cards to the 58 million Americans who benefit from Medicare. But since many of the people who will receive them don't know they're coming or why, scammers are already gearing up to take advantage.

An AARP survey shows as many as three-fourths of Americans 65 and older have no idea the cards are coming, so some individuals may be duped with claims that they're supposed to pay a fee or provide personal information that will be used, instead, to defraud them.

The new cards are the first reissue in years, and the most striking part of the redesign is that the cards no longer carry the beneficiary's Social Security number. Congress mandated the removal of that number as an identifier for Medicare beneficiaries by next April. Instead, the card has a Medicare Beneficiary Identifier number, an 11-digit combination of numbers and letters.

The new Medicare cards are now being mailed out in batches, starting with the Eastern seaboard and moving west. Most Medicare beneficiaries will receive their cards over the next six months, as long as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has their correct mailing address. Once the cards are in hand, people can share the new identification number with their health care providers. During a transition period, either card is valid.

The old cards, which used Social Security numbers as the personal identification number, should be destroyed.

AARP recently launched an education campaign to warn consumers about scams related to the new Medicare cards.

The membership organization's "Fraud Watch" consultant, Frank Abagnale reformed con man, scammer and the subject of the movie and book "Catch Me If You Can" tells senior citizens the only time they need to carry the actual Medicare card is to health care appointments. Otherwise, it should be left in a safe place. If they want to carry one in their wallet or purse, he says, make a copy and black out the first seven numbers.

Since the cards were announced, scammers have already:

  • Called seniors and asked for their bank account information so that money on their old card could be returned. There is no money on the old card and CMS never asks for personal information over the phone.
  • Offered to send the new card after Medicare beneficiaries pay a $25 fee to cover expenses related to the card. The card is free.
  • Said the card will be mailed out as soon as the older person verifies his or her Social Security number, mailing address and other personal information. CMS already knows the beneficiary's Social Security number and it's no longer being used in conjunction with health care.
AARP and the Federal Trade Commission will hold a free online seminar about the cards and the fraud attempts they have spawned on Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. EDT. Register at: www.aarp.org/FraudWebinar. CMS also offers a "frequently asked questions" guide to the new cards.

The AARP Fraud Watch Network says consumers can sign up for its Watchdog Alert emails that deliver breaking scam information, or call a free helpline at 877-908-3360 to speak with volunteers trained in fraud counseling. Abagnale also hosts a weekly podcast for AARP, called The Perfect Scam.
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