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What not to say to moms of twins
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What is it about being in public with your babies that encourages complete strangers to throw all sense of privacy and decorum out the window? Here are some of the cringe-worthy comments Ive received that youll want to avoid. - photo by Alicia Walters
Oh, you have twins. Thats double trouble! Are they identical? Do twins run in your family? How do you tell them apart? These are all examples of appropriate things to say to moms of twins. But what is it about being in public with your babies that encourages complete strangers to throw all sense of privacy and decorum out the window? Here are some of the cringe-worthy comments Ive received that youll want to avoid when talking to moms of twins; or any mom really.

Were they conceived naturally?

Do you really need to know? Im pretty sure that if the mother wanted to be open about her possible infertility, she would bring it up on her own. And if they were conceived naturally, how does the mother answering in the affirmative not make the moment completely awkward? Its better to let the answer to this one remain a mystery.

When in doubt, you can always say, Oh, what adorable babies! But leave the baby making questions alone.

Did you get really big?

Seriously? Yes, she did. Can we move on?

Did you nurse them?

Breastfeeding is a potentially sensitive topic for many moms, and twin moms are no different. At the very least, breastfeeding may not be a topic that the twin mom is willing to discuss with just anyone who asks about it. It is better to not potentially hurt a twin moms feelings and play it safe rather than sorry. She has enough on her plate and doesnt need your judgement, whether it is intended or not.

You are done, right?

How does asking an exhausted mom of twins this question help her to feel good? You are basically saying, Children are so awful, you better not be having another one! When people would ask my aunt, How many children are you going to have? I believe she would reply, All of them.

Theres a saying among twin moms: If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart. If the mother is done having children, you will know when she doesnt get pregnant again. And if she isnt done having children and would like to have more, your question is only going to cause a sting in her heart. What if she wants another child, but is unable to conceive again? Just dont ask this question.

DO ask, Do you need any help?

This one is definitely a go and it is infinitely better than You must have your hands full! Coming from a friend or family member, asking twin moms if they need any help is the best thing you can ask. Chances are they do need your help, even if they arent willing to admit it. Even if you dont feel comfortable babysitting, you can offer to run their errands. They probably dont want to lug two infant car seats into the grocery store alone.

Family and friends who check in often and offer to come hold the babies or do some light housework can be a real lifeline to a brand new mom of twins. Just having someone check in and talk with for a short while can make a real difference.
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New Medicare cards are in the mail and scammers are on the prowl
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The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has begun mailing new Medicare Health Insurance ID cards. The program no longer uses Social Security numbers to identify people. - photo by Lois M Collins
The federal government is beginning to send out new ID cards to the 58 million Americans who benefit from Medicare. But since many of the people who will receive them don't know they're coming or why, scammers are already gearing up to take advantage.

An AARP survey shows as many as three-fourths of Americans 65 and older have no idea the cards are coming, so some individuals may be duped with claims that they're supposed to pay a fee or provide personal information that will be used, instead, to defraud them.

The new cards are the first reissue in years, and the most striking part of the redesign is that the cards no longer carry the beneficiary's Social Security number. Congress mandated the removal of that number as an identifier for Medicare beneficiaries by next April. Instead, the card has a Medicare Beneficiary Identifier number, an 11-digit combination of numbers and letters.

The new Medicare cards are now being mailed out in batches, starting with the Eastern seaboard and moving west. Most Medicare beneficiaries will receive their cards over the next six months, as long as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has their correct mailing address. Once the cards are in hand, people can share the new identification number with their health care providers. During a transition period, either card is valid.

The old cards, which used Social Security numbers as the personal identification number, should be destroyed.

AARP recently launched an education campaign to warn consumers about scams related to the new Medicare cards.

The membership organization's "Fraud Watch" consultant, Frank Abagnale reformed con man, scammer and the subject of the movie and book "Catch Me If You Can" tells senior citizens the only time they need to carry the actual Medicare card is to health care appointments. Otherwise, it should be left in a safe place. If they want to carry one in their wallet or purse, he says, make a copy and black out the first seven numbers.

Since the cards were announced, scammers have already:

  • Called seniors and asked for their bank account information so that money on their old card could be returned. There is no money on the old card and CMS never asks for personal information over the phone.
  • Offered to send the new card after Medicare beneficiaries pay a $25 fee to cover expenses related to the card. The card is free.
  • Said the card will be mailed out as soon as the older person verifies his or her Social Security number, mailing address and other personal information. CMS already knows the beneficiary's Social Security number and it's no longer being used in conjunction with health care.
AARP and the Federal Trade Commission will hold a free online seminar about the cards and the fraud attempts they have spawned on Thursday, April 19, at 7 p.m. EDT. Register at: www.aarp.org/FraudWebinar. CMS also offers a "frequently asked questions" guide to the new cards.

The AARP Fraud Watch Network says consumers can sign up for its Watchdog Alert emails that deliver breaking scam information, or call a free helpline at 877-908-3360 to speak with volunteers trained in fraud counseling. Abagnale also hosts a weekly podcast for AARP, called The Perfect Scam.
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