Did you know that the moon is moving away from the earth at the rate of 3.5 centimeters each year?
Yessiree Bob! I learned that on the National Geographic cable station at about 3 a.m. today. Also, the European continent is moving away from the North American continent at the rate of 6 feet each year.
Scientists on that channel explained why all of this is happening, and I just nodded like I understood it, kind of like when I’m at one of those high tech computer seminars.
So what does any of this mean? Well, those experts say that when the moon gets way on out there from where it is now, it will cause the earth’s axis to change, and the earth could become more like Mars in terms of weather conditions. Reading between the lines, I figure it will also screw up a lot of songwriters who use the moon as a basis for their love tunes.
Now we’re talking millions of years from now when this might happen. So when I went back to bed, I didn’t lie awake worrying about it. I did, however, think about why my truck keeps running hot. I think I’ve got a bad thermostat. That’s an issue I can do something about.
But when scientists tell me stuff like that, it does put me to wondering. What will life be like that far down the road? I would speculate that by then they still won’t be re-enacting the Civil War. And there won’t be any memories of the ’57 Chevy or penny loafers. By then they may have an intercom system at a fast food drive-through where you can tell the difference between “flies on a hat” and “fries with that.”
There probably won’t even be any cell phones then. People will just think stuff and other people will just pick it out of the air via mental telepathy. Some people feel the human brain will have further developed by then. But I don’t see a lot of evidence that this will be a widespread phenomenon because in my opinion, it’s going in the other direction.
What I mean is, we have males today who haven’t figured out the relationship between their pants and belts, a concept early man had no problem with. Also, we have to have automatic flushers on toilets because apparently that handle on the side of the toilet has become a mystery to some folks.
Someone might ask why scientists study stuff like the moon moving away from us if there’s nothing we can do about it. I don’t have a good answer for that. But now that the space shuttle program has been canned, I’m hoping that these brilliant minds can be put to the task of developing viable alternate energy sources.
Or at least, maybe they can build a fuel gauge where the left side of half full moves down at the same rate as the right side.
Many times when I see something like this on television, I will have stupid dreams about it, especially if I’ve had a late night snack that involves fried pork rinds. But not this time. I did have a stupid dream, though.
I dreamed I was at a Japanese blue grass concert. Oh, it was painful! I kept telling them that they can’t do that, but they kept saying that they invented the transistor radio and the most fuel efficient cars, so they could sing and play bluegrass if they wanted to.
I told them that a people who have yet to discover spoons and forks should not attempt “Foggy Mountain Breakdown.”
So on the way to work, I wondered if and when those scientists’ speculations come to fruition, will the expression “once in a blue moon” even be used any more? Yep, I believe the pork rinds are at the crux of my problem.

Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer and can be reached at 985-4545 or dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.