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They were short, not taking a knee
God bless America and how is everybody
Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Alabama GOP Senate candidate Roy Moore was asked to drop out by Senate leaders who say his high moral posturing has been undercut by charges of past sexual misconduct with teenage girls. Then there’s the other side. His supporters say it’s about time Hollywood had its own U.S. senator.

The New York Post reported Monday the first Gallup poll sizing up the American voter mood ahead of the next presidential election. Any conclusions would be premature. The poll shows Trump losing the next election by 12 points to Any Functional Adult, but that doesn’t help the Democrats.

NFL’s anthem-defying quarterback Colin Kaepernick was named GQ’s Man of the Year. His influence is spreading. During the Asia Pacific Summit held in Vietnam Sunday, I thought I saw the Chinese delegation taking a knee during their national anthem, but it turns out they’re just short.

President Trump spoke with reporters in Beijing Friday where he praised the Chinese on their ability to take advantage of the U.S. in business deals. Trump understands how China’s labor laws give them a huge advantage. President Trump’s three children work around the clock for him as well.

The White House announced Monday that President Trump will give a major announcement today concerning both North Korea and the U.S. economy. Let’s just hope he uses the Teleprompter. All hell could break loose if Trump mixes up which one’s in retreat and which one is about to explode.

New Republic cited the media for making up gaffes in Trump’s Asia trip. It included the overfeeding the Koi fish story, misquoting his speech to Tokyo automakers, and miscasting his Putin remarks. Trump could walk across the Potomac and the Post headline would read Trump Can’t Swim.

Colombian law enforcement agents seized 13 tons of cocaine at a Colombian drug lord’s stash location Friday. It’s worth $360 million dollars. It’s hard to estimate how many Hollywood careers this cocaine seizure saved just from future sexual assault accusations alone.

O.J. Simpson was kicked out of the Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas Friday amid TMZ reports that O.J. was drunk and belligerent at the casino bar. He’s safe for now. No actress is likely to come forward on Twitter now and reveal that O.J. inappropriately killed her 30 years ago.

Los Angeles has the most congested freeway traffic in the United States, according to a survey released by the U.S. government last week. The L.A. surface streets are also a nightmare. Yesterday afternoon on Santa Monica Boulevard, I was rear-ended by Kevin Spacey, and I wasn’t even driving.

Uber signed a deal with NASA to create air taxis that will fly swiftly over big cities picking up people and dropping them off. And we don’t dare vet the pilots. ISIS leaders counseled their young fighters that if they just lie low after last month’s defeat the next great idea will just fall into their laps.

The Department of Health expressed alarm over campus alcohol statistics Sunday which show a spike in drinking by college students. For many of us it was a religion. Back in the 1970s we students at Oklahoma used to gather on Campus Corner every sundown to answer the Call to Beer.

Saturday Night Live did a sketch making fun of Democrats Biden, Hillary, Pelosi, Feinstein, Bernie and Brazile for being such old party leaders. It could’ve been worse. Luckily Millennials have no idea that when these six people started out in politics, the Democratic Party were the Confederates.

Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at

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