2013 was such a god-awful year, if it was in the form of a human I would gladly punch it in the trachea.
From Lance Armstrong, to the concussion-era drama in the NFL, to the steroid-era drama in baseball, imaginary girlfriends, baby-mama drama, murders, bombings and drugs ... I wondered if it would ever end. Every day it was something, and rarely did it seem to relate to actual sports.
Why am I keeping up with the Kardashians? Can somebody help me with this? Aside from sporting events and kids’ shows, I don’t watch a lot of television. So why do I know so much about this girl Kim? I’m not even saying anything bad about her like most seem to do whenever she comes up in conversation. She seems like a healthy-looking, charismatic young woman. I just don’t care about her marriage to Lamar Odom or Kanye West or Bruce Jenner, but the fact that I can tie all of their names to that troupe’s troubles concerns me a great deal. Keep that stuff off of SportsCenter and on TMZ or Bravo where it belongs.
We lost Mariano Rivera to retirement last year, super-agent Scott Boras lost a client to Jay-Z, and Robinson Cano lost his mind. I can’t blame Rivera for wanting to spend more time with family, and I understand that the league was only too happy to roll out the retirement tour for PR sakes, but unless he does the Rolling Stones or KISS retirement thing where they keep coming back (or is it more aptly referred to as a “long goodbye?”), I would like to see him come back only after be is inducted into the Hall of Fame in five years.
Daniel Tosh, ironically one of those guys who has an entertainment tonight-type show, has the best take on retirement. He talks about Brett Favre and how fans wanted him to retire. Yeah, well maybe I will just retire when teams stop throwing obscene amounts of money at me to start football games. How much does a backup make — $2 million? Yeah, I will take that job. Seven-figures to play on the practice squad? Sign me up, coach.
As of this writing, five NFL coaches have lost their jobs. Certainly more will follow. The reason? Chip Kelly, head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, who did something that is rarely seen at the pro-levels these days: He revolutionized the game. You have to go back to Billy Beane and Moneyball to find a similar phenomenon. You can bet owners and general managers want to get in on the new wave.
And we certainly can look forward to the circus that will be Johnny Manziel’s exodus from Texas. Why, recently I heard an ESPN correspondent say he can’t wait to see little Johnny as a legitimate rock star with NFL-type money. Oh, imagine his off-field antics!
Personally, I think Manziel will be a bust ... but I do know without a doubt that I want to see it on the field and not off.
Save those busts for TMZ this year, please.
Vasto is a veteran sportswriter who lives in Kansas City.