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Success at school starts at home
Parenting
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As this school year began, several teachers asked if I would reprint a column that first appeared about 10 years ago. The subject is my five top back-to-school tips for parents.
Before you read, be informed that when I use the term “best students,” I am not necessarily referring to those children who make the best grades. Rather, I mean those students who come to school prepared to pay attention, accept assignment and do their best, whatever their best may be. Here, then, are those tips:
1. Make it clear to your child that disobedience is not an option. Teachers consistently report that the best students are almost always among the most well behaved. Good behavior begins in the home, not at school and not even the best teacher can discipline a child who comes from home not already respectful of adult authority. Make the rules of proper behavior clear to your child, and when the rules are broken, enforce with a firm, even hand. New research finds that a child’s level of self-control is positively associated with school achievement.
2. Assign your child a fair share of day-to-day housework. Again, teachers tell me that the best students are usually those who have daily chores at home. It makes sense, doesn’t it, that a child who comes to school already accustomed to accepting adult assignment will have fewer problems accepting assignment from teachers? The more responsible a child is within his or her family, the more responsibility the child will demonstrate at school.
3. Limit electronic entertainment to nonschool days only, and even then allow no more than five total hours per week. The research is increasingly unequivocal: screen time of any sort decreases attention span. Learning from a real-life, flesh-and-blood teacher requires being ready to ask questions, being ready to answer questions, memorizing, conducting independent inquiry, transferring what you’ve learned to paper, listening to the teacher’s feedback concerning your work and correcting your mistakes. As for television alone, a researcher once found that truly gifted children tended to watch no more than five hours of television a week. The national average is 25 hours per week per child, which is simply to say if you want your child to be average, let him watch a lot of television
4. Be always interested in what and how your child is doing in school, but take care not to get involved in doing his work for him. There is a difference between interest and involvement. The interested parent says to the child, in effect, “I am concerned about your education, but it is ultimately your responsibility.” The involved parent says, “Your education is my responsibility.” Unfortunately, too many well-intentioned parents have unwittingly accepted/appropriated responsibility for their children’s school work. The result of this parental benevolence is a child who has difficulty taking the proverbial bull by the horns. New research supports this low-involvement parenting model.
5. If and when your child’s teacher reports a problem, give the teacher — not your child! — the benefit of the doubt. As a rule, teachers are more committed to bettering the welfare of children than any other class of professional. When a teacher says your child has a problem, academic or behavioral, it is with your child’s best interest in mind. Curb the tendency to become defensive and listen with an open mind and an open heart. You may learn something that will help you become a better parent.


Rosemond, a family psychologist, answers questions at his Web site: www.rosemond.com.
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Visit with children a real eye-opener
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One of my favorite activities as a state senator is when I get to speak to students at our local schools. This year, I spoke to third-grade students at May Howard Elementary and Marshpoint Elementary in Chatham County and Button Gwinnett Elementary in Liberty County.
The students from each of the schools had been studying civics and were familiar with the three branches of government — executive, judicial and legislative. I explained my role as a senator in the legislative process and told the children how the citizen legislature in the state of Georgia works.
Presenting each of the schools with a Georgia state flag, I explained the three principles for which the state flag stands — wisdom, justice and moderation — and had them recite the pledge to the flag with me. 
The students at all three schools were bright, respectful and well-disciplined — a tribute to their families and especially to their teachers, who had prepared the students for my visit with ideas for great questions.
The students in Ms. Hutchinson’s class at Marshpoint Elementary were impressive in singing the preamble to the Constitution during my visit. What a great way to learn such an important part of our nation’s history — another wonderful example of the great job our teachers are doing.
I was delighted last week to receive thank-you letters from some of the students. Here are excerpts from a few of their letters:
 
Dear Mr. Carter,
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come speak to us. I learned so much! I learned that there are two kinds of Pledge of Allegiances. That is pretty cool.
Do you travel all over the world do you? I really like that you taught me more about the three branches of government.
— Megan
 
Dear Sen. Carter,
Thank you for telling us about your job and your favorite thing about your job. I liked the Georgia state flag. I still have more questions. Do you have to work on Saturday and Sunday? Are you the only one who makes the laws?
Yours truly,
Ryleigh 


Dear Sen. Buddy Carter,
Thank you for coming and letting us have a little bit of your time. I want you to know that I learned something new. The Georgia pledge! Justice, wisdom and modesty! Thanks again!
— Liam
 
Dear Sen. Buddy Carter,
Thank you for coming and helping us learn more about the government and some of your job. Thank you for giving us a Georgia flag. It was fun when you came. Thank you for giving us some questions so we could answer them.
P.S. Did you ride in a limousine? I was going to ask you a question but then I forgot. But now I remember. How many rooms are there where you work? You can send me a note if you can.
Your friend,
Erin
 
I’m uncertain whether the students learned as much from me during my visit as I learned from them. One thing that I was reminded of was the honesty that comes from the innocence of childhood. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret some of the questions, such as the one asked in this letter:
 
Dear Sen. Carter,
I loved your speech. Thanks for coming to our school. I think my favorite part was when we held the flag. It was so fun! I have a question: How many people voted for you?
Sincerely,
Shelly
 
I also was more than a little concerned about a recurring question in the thank-you notes that was posed to me during one of my visits by a beautiful, brown-eyed girl who, with a very serious look on her face, asked “Did you ever get re-elected be-fore?”


What a great group of young people! My faith and hope in our future has been reassured. What an amazing job our families and teachers are doing on a daily basis to support and encourage our next generation. Thank you for your dedication to teaching our leaders of tomor-row.

Sen. Buddy Carter can be reached at Coverdell Legislative Office Building (C.L.O.B.) Room 301-A, Atlanta, GA, 30334. His Capitol office number is 404-656-5109

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