Imagine, if you will, that you’re in the middle of writing an essay for a college class, mentally compiling your grocery list while noticing that those five pounds you lost exercising has returned in the form of Bunny Tracks ice cream, motivating yourself to add an extra half mile to your run to combat said effects of dessert indulgence, planning a Sunday school lesson for teenagers that will hopefully not be deemed boring in the first five minutes, and hearing the buzz that tells you it’s time to switch the laundry over. Then, you hear the familiar Skype ring on your computer, signaling that your deployed spouse is calling.
Now, if you hadn’t heard from him in three days, you drop everything you’re doing or thinking about and bolt for the “answer” icon as quickly as humanly possible. However, if you’ve heard from him twice already that day, answering the call may feel a bit more like an additional chore than a refreshing escape. I understand that there are some couples who manage to avoid this type of situation altogether — couples who never run out of things to talk about and are always thrilled at the thought of having a conversation with their beloved other half.
My husband and I are not those people. That doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy talking to each other or that our relationship is somehow shallow and superficial. But after five years together, we both understand that we operate on different planes. We frequently enjoy watching movies, reading separate books while cuddling (Although my husband would say he would never “cuddle”.) on the couch, or walking the dog together. We do talk, and often, but that’s not the revolving point of our relationship.
So as this deployment is approaching its end, I find myself increasingly impatient to skip the video chat and go straight to dog walking and book reading. Then I remember that next to some spouses, I have it really good. And although good isn’t as nice as perfect, it sure is a lot better than it could be.