It seems a consensus of my breakfast club that we have too many television channels. Metaphorically speaking, producers are struggling to find something to put between two slices of bread. In others words, they are giving us mayonnaise sandwiches.
And it seems the line-up is getting worse. They are now coming out with a series called “Mobsters’ Wives.” This sort of parallels a show that each week takes us inside a maximum security prison where inmates are serving multiple life terms. That one is a collection of “humanity” (and I use that word loosely) displaying that perhaps their mothers gave birth to tattoos and children eventually grew onto them.
Some of the previews of the “Mobsters Wives” program shows these women complaining because they are all alone with their kids and their Caddilacs. Translated: They are upset because their husbands were stupid enough to get caught.
So could there be any kind of socially redeeming values in such productions – not that such is a criteria in developing these shows? I don’t think so.
Someone might suggest that they could reveal to youngsters that these are places and conditions that they should want to avoid. I think it’s more likely that kids who would watch these shows will want to emulate what they’re seeing.
“Man! That’s one bitching tattoo!”
Oh yes. And for just $100 and 20 years, you can have one just like it.
But, whoever said that a television show should have socially redeeming value? The Jerry Springer Show has been around for awhile and is successful because a lot of people like to watch other people take off their britches and throw chairs at one another because they found out that their boyfriend is the father of their stepbrother or something like that.
I read where some networks are going heavily to “reality” shows because they are cheaper to produce while capitalizing on the shallow intellect of mass audiences. In other words, they don’t have to hire actors and pay scriptwriters. They just pay some guy to go into a biker’s bar, find the meanest looking biker in there, call him Shirley and ask where he bought his scooter. And of course they film it.
Now some of the “reality” type shows do have socially redeeming values, I think. I have watched a couple of episodes of “The Deadliest Catch.” And now I never order crab legs without a great appreciation for the guys who sail into stormy seas to bring me this culinary delight. But, after I’ve watched two episodes, I’ve pretty well got the plot and the ending figured out.
But when it comes to the “Swamp People” who hunt alligators for a living, I don’t buy shoes that expensive, and I seldom eat alligator. As well, I have never had the need to be able to determine whether an alligator is male or female. I can appreciate the fact that on Career Day, lots of other options were available.
But to each his own. We live in America and our Constitution gives us the right to produce and watch stupid stuff. I give you Congressional hearings.
Now someone is going to say that they’ve never heard of a “mayonnaise sandwich.” I’m here to tell you that they are real. I didn’t say real good – just real. Even a couple of my breakfast clubbers have had them.
But apparently, I’m the only person in the world who pours cane syrup on his scrambled eggs. Maybe my breakfast club could be a pilot for a new “reality” show.
The title: “What Country Boys Eat And How They Would Solve The World’s Problems.”

Walden is the editor/publisher of the Moultrie Observer. He can be reached at dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.