Adding to the exploits I wrote about in last week’s column here are a few more interesting, weird and just plain silly Florida Man adventures.
In April a Florida man from Lehigh Acres was arrested after he was found naked, humping a tree and later running down the road in the nude. The story mentioned police believed he was high on something.
It gets better, as he attempted to run away from the cops, he was nearly hit by a car. Once apprehended he allegedly punched a cop in the face.
That same month in Hernando County another Florida man was arrested and charged with grand theft auto after he allegedly stole an ambulance from a hospital. The man jumped into the ambulance as EMS officials walked a patient into the hospital. He supposedly drove it down a road where it got stuck in the mud.
Karma is truly alive and well as one Florida man can attest. In October of 2016 this pathetic piece of poopy Florida man was attempting to shoot to death some of his puppies. One of the puppies put his paws on the trigger of the gun and shot the man instead. You know what they say, you reap what you sow.
Did you hear the one about the Florida man who tried to smuggle drugs into jail via his prosthetic leg? The man was arrested earlier in the evening for possession of cocaine and resisting arrest. Before being taken to lock up, cops asked him if he had anything hidden in his prosthetic leg to which the man replied, “No.” Turns out the man had Xanax pills and a gram of fentanyl in his prosthetic leg. The man now faces additional charges.
A Florida man, who happens to have a tattoo of the state of Florida on his forehead, was arrested for misusing the 9-1-1 system after he repeatedly called the emergency number asking for a ride home. A deputy who spotted the man offered to call him a cab, but the man said he didn’t have any money. The man began to walk in the direction of his house, and called 9-1-1 again requesting another ride. The same deputy caught up to the man and arrested him. The deputy found the Florida man to be in possession of marijuana too.
The Orlando Sentinel reported on a Florida man who was accused of drinking Four Lokos while giving Botox injections without a license. The man, who was presenting himself as a doctor of medicine, was reportedly charging cheaper services to attract a large client base. The man was also receiving the Botox illegally. A Jacksonville Sheriff Deputy went undercover, posing as a client and saw the man drinking alcohol during the consultations and prior to administering the Botox injections. He was arrested before working on the undercover detective.
Or that one time a Florida man was arrested after deputies say the naked man broke into a school spreading poop and cake frosting all over the building. Deputies reported the man was caught on camera entering the school property around 2 a.m. Deputies found desks, chairs and drawers covered in cake frosting. They found a trail of frosting-covered footprints on the floor. There was an open can of frosting in the trash can and poop covered hand and footprints on a window ledge. Deputies found a stapler in the toilet and a poop and frosting covered TV remote was in the bathroom. A soiled pair of underwear was found hanging from the building.
But the most epic and what the heck Florida man story was one that was even captured on video and went viral. A Florida man was videotaped hanging on to the front of a semi-truck while it was riding down the Florida Turnpike in broad daylight. For reasons yet unknown this man was bashing the front windshield of the semi with his hand and FACE!
The semi-driver kept trying to swerve back and forth to knock the guy off the truck. Of course, someone captured the whole mess on video. It was the wildest nine-mile ride of the truck driver’s life. Police caught up to the driver who pulled over. The officers pulled the man off the truck and sent him to be mentally evaluated. They reported the man was driving a Toyota SUV along with a male passenger, when he suddenly began acting strange (Huge Understatement). He stopped his car, and flagged down the truck. The trucker said when he slowed down the man jumped on the hood and began attacking the windshield. Fearing for his life he accelerated trying to get the man off his hood.
This is something you have to see for yourself:: Man on Semi