The NFL draft begins Thursday night and continues through Saturday. It will be covered live by both ESPN and the NFL Network, I think, and attract a TV audience estimated to be in the millions.
Some of the coverage includes people whose sole function in life, apparently, is to be knowledgeable about the NFL draft. One expert is Mel Kiper, who has the hair of televangelist Oral Roberts circa 1980. You wonder if he ever played or coached football. Not with that hair. It wouldn’t fit in a helmet.
I may watch a few minutes of the draft, mostly to see if Kiper and fellow expert Todd McShay get into any on-air hissy fits. If so, I’m siding with McShay, who has normal hair and at least played high school and some college football.
More about the draft: According to the blog “The Falcoholic,” Kiper said the Falcons should take Stanford tight end Zach Ertz No. 1, followed at No. 2 by former LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu and then Kent State guard Brian Winters at No. 3.
I don’t know anything about Ertz or Winters, but Mathieu is the famed “Honey Badger,” who was busted for smoking pot and kicked off the Bayou Bengals for a while. The online reaction to Kiper’s Falcon draft is worth a read. Here’s a sample by someone calling himself CubFan90:
“I will drink enough beer to kill a small horse if they pick Hon … wait, no, I’ll do that anyway.”
Please note I am not endorsing the abuse of alcohol or small horses. I am merely shining a small light on an internet subculture where presumably grown men write stupid things under made-up screen names.
Coming up next: Thoughts on jerk-fans.