Mom language can be different than normal conversation. The actions of the little people running around your house bring out a whole new set of phrases for you to use every day, often on repeat. I happen to have a toddler in my home, and these are things I say every day that I cant imagine using before I became a mom.
1. Please stop hitting (or biting) me!
Why cant kids keep their hands to themselves? Whether he means it or not, my son is constantly stepping on, hitting, or biting me. I cant believe how many times I have to tell him to stop.
2. Are you poopy?
When you get a whiff of that smell (sometimes many times a day), you have to ask even if the baby cant understand the question. Definitely not something Id ever asked someone before I became a mom.
3. Mommys [insert any item you own] is not a toy!
Small children think everything is a toy. Even things like feminine hygiene supplies. They really dont know the difference. And telling them this every day doesnt seem to help them learn either.
4. For the love of all that is holy, please eat!
I say this at least three times a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My son thinks food is for playing and throwing on the floor. Im not sure how he doesnt starve.
5. I just cleaned that.
Yep, kids make messes. And they have an innate ability to make that mess in whatever spot was last cleaned.
6. You have to put on pants before you go outside.
Children dont know the meaning of decency, and they see nothing wrong with going outside in a diaper or underwear. When they want out, they want out, no matter what theyre wearing.
7. Dont put that in your mouth (or nose)!
Everything must be tasted and everything must be tested to see if it fits in any orifice. Im not sure why small children have this fascination, but it happens all the time.
8. I dont want your fingers in my mouth.
Little kids love to put things in your mouth for you, especially their fingers. In my case, this also becomes no, I dont want you to feed me something that has already been in your mouth. Its dirty!
9. Dont climb on me!
If you ever try to lie on the floor in my home be aware that a small child will immediately take it as a hint that you want to be climbed on and over.
10. Your toys dont go on the dinner table.
Maybe kids think their toys need to eat too, bt for some reason the table is the favored spot for toys, especially when youre about to put food there.
11. Its right there. Right in front of you. Yes, there!
Im convinced that kids have massive blind spots in their vision. Even if whatever they are looking for is right in front of them, they still dont see it.
12. Why is my [insert something you own] in the [insert random place in your home]?
Once they learn how to move around and reach things, nothing will ever be where you left it. Maybe one day I will stop asking this question, but for now I cant help it saying it while shaking my head.
Children definitely make life a little more interesting and bring a whole new life (and vocabulary) to their mommies. And dont be surprised if one of these phrases ends up being the first sentence that comes out of a childs mouth.
1. Please stop hitting (or biting) me!
Why cant kids keep their hands to themselves? Whether he means it or not, my son is constantly stepping on, hitting, or biting me. I cant believe how many times I have to tell him to stop.
2. Are you poopy?
When you get a whiff of that smell (sometimes many times a day), you have to ask even if the baby cant understand the question. Definitely not something Id ever asked someone before I became a mom.
3. Mommys [insert any item you own] is not a toy!
Small children think everything is a toy. Even things like feminine hygiene supplies. They really dont know the difference. And telling them this every day doesnt seem to help them learn either.
4. For the love of all that is holy, please eat!
I say this at least three times a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My son thinks food is for playing and throwing on the floor. Im not sure how he doesnt starve.
5. I just cleaned that.
Yep, kids make messes. And they have an innate ability to make that mess in whatever spot was last cleaned.
6. You have to put on pants before you go outside.
Children dont know the meaning of decency, and they see nothing wrong with going outside in a diaper or underwear. When they want out, they want out, no matter what theyre wearing.
7. Dont put that in your mouth (or nose)!
Everything must be tasted and everything must be tested to see if it fits in any orifice. Im not sure why small children have this fascination, but it happens all the time.
8. I dont want your fingers in my mouth.
Little kids love to put things in your mouth for you, especially their fingers. In my case, this also becomes no, I dont want you to feed me something that has already been in your mouth. Its dirty!
9. Dont climb on me!
If you ever try to lie on the floor in my home be aware that a small child will immediately take it as a hint that you want to be climbed on and over.
10. Your toys dont go on the dinner table.
Maybe kids think their toys need to eat too, bt for some reason the table is the favored spot for toys, especially when youre about to put food there.
11. Its right there. Right in front of you. Yes, there!
Im convinced that kids have massive blind spots in their vision. Even if whatever they are looking for is right in front of them, they still dont see it.
12. Why is my [insert something you own] in the [insert random place in your home]?
Once they learn how to move around and reach things, nothing will ever be where you left it. Maybe one day I will stop asking this question, but for now I cant help it saying it while shaking my head.
Children definitely make life a little more interesting and bring a whole new life (and vocabulary) to their mommies. And dont be surprised if one of these phrases ends up being the first sentence that comes out of a childs mouth.