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The best way to find your soulmate
You are fun, vibrant, attractive -- an all around great catch, doing everything you can think of to find "the one." So, why can't you? You might be surprised by the answer. - photo by Cristel Romero
A few years ago, many of my co-workers were young college students. We worked long, 12-hour graveyard shifts together. We had a lot of opportunities to talk and get to know each other. One of the most common things we talked about was how difficult it was to find the right person. I, being the old married woman (to them, 29 might as well have been 40), was constantly asked the same question:

How do I find the one?

I would then listen to each describe what he or she was looking for.

"A good man, who doesnt want to go out and party every night, or "A girl that Im not nervous to have meet my parents, or "Someone laid back, who enjoys partying and going out.

I would then hear about how they met their latest exes on their conquests to love. Usually, after hearing how they met their exes, I would have to suppress a laugh. The first two, while looking for someone to take home to Mom, met their exes at a party. And the guy who wanted a girl to go out and party with? Well, he met her at a church social.

It blew my mind that they were so confused as to why they werent finding what they were looking for. The answer to their question seemed so obvious to me. Its mind-blowingly simple, really. So, how do you find your soul mate?

Be Yourself

If you are doing things you dont normally do and acting like someone you arent, solely in the name of finding love, you are never going to find who you are looking for. It also isnt fair to those you start to date. Its not his or her fault you pretended to be someone you werent. Here are a couple situations to avoid when searching for love:

1. Posting false information on social media and dating websites

For example, dont claim to enjoy skydiving when you cant even ride the Ferris Wheel without throwing up. Guess what? You are great just the way you are. If someone doesnt click on your profile just because you dont match what he is looking for, that is a good thing. You want to find someone who loves you for you, and not for who they think you are.

2. Going to places you arent comfortable at or doing things you normally wouldnt

If you dont enjoy going to the bar, dont go there to find someone. If you dont want to go to church every Sunday, dont tell someone you will. Its not fair to either of you.

3. Expecting others to be who you want them to be

Accept them and they will accept you. You cant change someone. If you arent willing to change for them, accept that he or she won't change for you.

4. Changing your personality or looks to be how you think someone wants you to be

You met this really hot guy who typically goes for blue-eyed blondes -- that doesnt mean you should go out and dye your hair and get colored contacts. In the long run, neither of you will be happy. I cant say it enough: You are good enough just the way you are and your soulmate will see that. You wont need to change a thing.

5. Expecting different results by doing the same thing

You wouldnt go to the same movie twice hoping it ends differently, would you?

If you sincerely want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, be honest with yourself. Then, remain true to yourself. In turn, you will find someone who values you and truly wants to be with you. Dont force love. Relax and let it come to you. You are worth it and true love is worth the wait.
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