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The four words you should say to end every fight
This simple sentence can change you, your spouse, and most importantly, your marriage. - photo by Jenna Koford
I went to a wedding for a young, happy couple who were free spirited and ready for the next step in their journey. They held hands and gazed into each others eyes during the ceremony, and I saw the bride whisper I love you to her groom.

The officiant in the wedding was an older man who began to give advice to the couple. I sat back in my seat, preparing for the love her every day and be each others best friends slogans we hear all the time.

But what he said next made me sit up in my chair.

Some days, youre going to wake up and not like each other, he said.

Wait, is this real? Is he being this blunt at someones wedding?

And other days, one of you will believe youre right while the other believes theyre right too. And you may go off in your own corners and think, Well, Im right. And Im not moving until the other person does.

The whole room was listening to this humorous man speak directly to the couple. He then told this bride and groom the key to overcoming these moments.

There are four words that will solve this problem, every time. The man then turned to the groom.

When you feel, in an argument, that you are right and she is wrong, you should take a deep breath, find her in the house, and say, Honey, youre probably right.

The man then turned to the bride and said, And when you feel like hes done something wrong and has ruined the whole day, you should go to him and say, Honey, youre probably right.

Honey, youre probably right.

Doesnt that go against everything weve learned? Were supposed to compromise, to recognize a right and a wrong, to stand up for ourselves in marriage. Why would we just say this when we dont believe it?

Maybe there is something deeper to learn heresomething about sacrifice and pride. Maybe youll always think you were really right about buying that new car or going to your parents house this Christmas. And maybe your spouse will still think theyre right. But the first step to forgiveness and healing is to break your guard down, forget about whos right and whos wrong, and see things in a new perspective.

If these four words are said sarcastically, or if theyre only used to end an argument, nothing will really be solved.

Author Lynn G. Robbins wrote that for the expression Im sorry to be truly sincere it has to be expressed with love and empathy, not merely to excuse oneself.

There will be times during your marriage when youll be upset. Youll be wrong. And other times, youll be right. Whenever you choose to say these four words, it will be because youve decided that its more important to be married than to be right all the time.
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