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Mark your calendar: Ron White
Screen Shot 2012-04-25 at 9.05.40 AM
Comedian Ron White will perform in at the Johnny Mercer Theatre in Savannah this September. - photo by Image provided

One of Ron White’s oldest bits – and one of his funniest–ever — is the story of how it took the Sears Auto Center took three–and–a–half hours to change the four tires on his van.

“Apparently,” the comedian says, “they had to whittle one of ‘em out of a piece of wheat.”

After ponying up $980, “I take a right hand turn out of the mall ... the left rear wheel falls off. It FALLS OFF. It FALLS the F––– OFF. Turning my van into a tripod, spinning me into a dimension of pissed–off I have never been in before in my life.”

In White’s story, it turns out the “tire guy” at Sears, who had simply forgotten to tighten the lug nuts on the van, had spent three whole days at Tire College.

“Well apparently he was sick on LUG NUT DAY. But they still let him work on my van.”

This story has particular significance because, according to White, it happened at a Sears, in a mall, in Savannah, Georgia, quite a few years ago.

And he swears it’s a true story.

The other punchline: White’s got a concert date at the Johnny Mercer Theatre Sept. 30. Ticket info hasn’t been made available.

A Fab cartoon

If you’ve never seen the animated 1968 film Yellow Submarine, the Blu-Ray is coming out May 29. That’ll look cool, certainly.

However, youngsters, Yellow Submarine is best experienced on the big screen. And the Trustees Theater has it on the schedule for Thursday, May 24.

It’s a Beatles movie, to be sure, with loads of classic songs from their psychedelic phase, but the Fabs themselves had very little to do with it, other than giving their approval, and they did not provide their own speaking voices. That was left to four British TV actors.

It’s great because it’s pop art, 1968-style, colorful and weird and trippy. And it’s funny.

Attack of the killer dates!

• Keller Williams. Live Wire. May 3.

• Trace Adkins. Johnny Mercer Theatre. May 4.

• Tall Ships Challenge. May 3–7.

• SCAD Sand Art. Tybee. May 4.

• No Exit. The Collective Face, Muse Arts Warehouse. Opens May 4.

• Straight No Chaser. Johnny Mercer Theatre. May 5.

• Amy Ray. Live Wire. May 5.

• Kevin Hart. Johnny Mercer Theatre. May 12.

• Rent. Bay Street Theatre. May 12–28.

• SCAD Fashion Week Runway Show. Lucas Theatre. May 17.

• Savannah Philharmonic Season Finale. Lucas Theatre. May 19.

• Jeff Dunham. Johnny Mercer Theatre. May 23 & 24.

• Laughs For Lemonade. June 23. Lucas Theatre.

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